I think I broke my brain.
So I've been taking this AWESOME 10 day sort of soul and home clearing "class" for these days leading up to the summer solstice. These tiny baby steps of soul work have been great, but today was a bit of a pause day, asking us to think about gratitude and mornings (we've talked a lot about how to make mornings work for us. life changing really) and well... I've pretty much always had a terrible time with mornings. I'm slow to wake up, I'm disinclined to get out of bed, I kind of don't want to recognize any time before 10 a.m. etc... So I'm reading along with things that all basically say mornings are a gift ... each new day is a gift etc... and the sarcastic wench in my head said
"yeah, each new day is yet another chance to fuck it all up."
Which I sort of laughed off inside my head but I keep hearing that Mjolnir type thunder crack I heard after I heard those words in my head.
I still don't know if it was just random bad thought, but I suspect there is some truth there ... that every morning I greet myself with an unconcious "ok today's the day it all goes tits up!" message and then try and crawl back under the covers forever. And oh god no. DNW.
So. Will have to sit with this thought I don't know what in the hell to do with. But I suppose its a good thing to ponder.
Jesus.
"yeah, each new day is yet another chance to fuck it all up."
Which I sort of laughed off inside my head but I keep hearing that Mjolnir type thunder crack I heard after I heard those words in my head.
I still don't know if it was just random bad thought, but I suspect there is some truth there ... that every morning I greet myself with an unconcious "ok today's the day it all goes tits up!" message and then try and crawl back under the covers forever. And oh god no. DNW.
So. Will have to sit with this thought I don't know what in the hell to do with. But I suppose its a good thing to ponder.
Jesus.