(no subject)
Yesterday I should have said, Watching someone die sucks. Or knowing they're dying sucks. Yesterday my mom wasn't dead. Today, we had to make the decision to take her off of life support, which were her wishes. It all happened so fast, but was agonizingly long and painful with the short days it all took to unfold.
My mom has been my rock throughout my whole life and I've strived to be as strong a woman as she was. This just. fucking. sucks. We were supposed to have more time. And now...it's like nothing but time.
She's gone now. I'm saddened beyond words. My best, and longest known friend, has passed away.
I'm going to eat ice cream and drink some Merlot and savor the aloneness that I didn't get to have at all these past two days while I had to work, and wait for the phone calls. And have the phone calls about updates and waiting and deciding and then, for that final call. I'm exhausted.
My mom has been my rock throughout my whole life and I've strived to be as strong a woman as she was. This just. fucking. sucks. We were supposed to have more time. And now...it's like nothing but time.
She's gone now. I'm saddened beyond words. My best, and longest known friend, has passed away.
I'm going to eat ice cream and drink some Merlot and savor the aloneness that I didn't get to have at all these past two days while I had to work, and wait for the phone calls. And have the phone calls about updates and waiting and deciding and then, for that final call. I'm exhausted.