Israel, Lebanon, Hesbollah, and the rest.

Jul 21, 2006 14:35



Hardly a detailed analysis.



These might not be exactly the case, but they are the impressions I've gotten:

Hezbollah: We have southern Lebanon to ourselves, or close enough. We determine where the police and army can and cannot go. It's ours to do with as we please, and we please to start a fight with that Zionist state. Civilians? They're great for hiding behind so we can point out to the world press how brutal our enemies are when they try to come after us for attacking them.

Syria: Go get'em, Hez. But, uh, everyone else, remember it's Hezbollah and not Syria doing this.

Iran: Go get'em, Hez. But, uh, everyone else, remember it's Hezbollah and not Syria (or us.. at least not yet) doing this.

Lebanon: Oh crap! It's Hezbollah, not us! Really! We... just.. can't.. fight.. them. But we can fight Israel if they invade. Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh crap.

UN: Hey, Lebanon, get those Hezbollah folks out of your country. What's that? You can't? Syria, help them. What, you won't? Oh well, not my problem. And what's going on... HEY you guys, stop that! Everyone, just just stop! Please? Pretty please? Pretty pwease with sugah anna chewwy?? If you don't stop.. I'll.. I'll... well, I'll do something. Eventually. Maybe. Pleeeeeease? I've gotta form a committee and write a report and...

Israel: E-FREAKING-NOUGH OF THIS BS!! We tried playing nice, all it got us was beaten up. We can't afford to let this continue. If we're gonna get beat up anyway, the ones doing it to us are at least gonna get beat up themselves. Look, we don't want to hurt anybody, but we gotta defend ourselves. Cease-fire? We HAD a cease-fire. It was unilateral, remember? We'll have a REAL cease fire when their ability to fire ceases. Hey Lebanon, you should be fighting Hezbollah. Get rid of them, and our armed forces can go home.

Egypt: Whew! The troublemakers went IN to Gaza. Better than the other way.

USA: Sure we could send someone over to try to negotiate. Look how much good it did in the past. Who are all these nuts who think we can control Israel? Aren't these the same folks who tell us we shouldn't dare meddle in things, ever? Anyway, maybe we will send someone.. after Hezbollah has been smacked around a while. At least we don't have to do that - yet. (Go get 'em, Israel.)

North Korea: HEY GUYS! I'M STILL IMPORTANT! PAY SOME ATTENTION OVER HERE! I DEMAND IT! *WHIIINE*

middle east

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