(no subject)
So i met this guy Gary the other night, through erin (oddly enough), and he's pretty cool.. we ended up talking till about 5 am about anime, japanese stuff, and other what not. I gave him my number (he gave me his also) and i said i'd call him today to hang out. Well, i did, and we hung out pretty much the whole day. We watched some Elven Lied (sp?), which was really awesome, and then headed down to the Willows for a bit to hang out with peoples. I had to DDR, of course, and i passed Dead End (heavy) with a B again ^_^ made me very very happy.. but anyway, Gary and I played Air Hockey twice (the machince claims i lost both times, but i won the first time) and then we left to go and watch some more anime. We hung out at my house, talked, watched stuff, cuddled.. it was nice... he's nice. i think i like him, but i need to make sure, absolutly sure. If anything happens between us, i do not want it to be a rebound for eddie.
the way my feelings work is kind of.. complicated.. well, if i like you, i REALLY like you. I fall hard, and fast, so my feelings are pretty strong. unfortunatly, when i am unable to do much with those feelings, which is what happened with eddie, i need to push them to the back burner. this can really prove to be difficult for me because of how intense my feelings are (not just for eddie, i've had to do this a number of times), but this time it's even harder with how things ended between him and i.. It would have been easier if he hadn't liked me at all, but i'm truly happy that he did. it may be causing problems for me now, but it still means a lot to me.
So this is my.. dilemma, i suppose.. trying to make sure that i really like this guy, and that i'm not just still trying to get past eddie. Gary is a great guy, i can't do that to him. We're going to be hanging out tomorrow after he does some stuff, and i think we're going to watch Kung Fu Hustle (yes....) and maybe some other stuff, so i'll have to see how things go. I want to be honest and upfront with him about how i'm feeling, but im not sure what to say.. i guess i could just.. tell the truth, you know? This guy and I almost had a thing for a little while, and it didn't pan out, but it left me with a lot of lingering feelings. I've had time to push them aside, but i just want to make sure that my feelings for you (him) are genuine.
my heart hurts so much right now, i can feel the tears building..
why am i so... sad..
the way my feelings work is kind of.. complicated.. well, if i like you, i REALLY like you. I fall hard, and fast, so my feelings are pretty strong. unfortunatly, when i am unable to do much with those feelings, which is what happened with eddie, i need to push them to the back burner. this can really prove to be difficult for me because of how intense my feelings are (not just for eddie, i've had to do this a number of times), but this time it's even harder with how things ended between him and i.. It would have been easier if he hadn't liked me at all, but i'm truly happy that he did. it may be causing problems for me now, but it still means a lot to me.
So this is my.. dilemma, i suppose.. trying to make sure that i really like this guy, and that i'm not just still trying to get past eddie. Gary is a great guy, i can't do that to him. We're going to be hanging out tomorrow after he does some stuff, and i think we're going to watch Kung Fu Hustle (yes....) and maybe some other stuff, so i'll have to see how things go. I want to be honest and upfront with him about how i'm feeling, but im not sure what to say.. i guess i could just.. tell the truth, you know? This guy and I almost had a thing for a little while, and it didn't pan out, but it left me with a lot of lingering feelings. I've had time to push them aside, but i just want to make sure that my feelings for you (him) are genuine.
my heart hurts so much right now, i can feel the tears building..
why am i so... sad..