SPN Fic: And this Great Blue World of Ours | Part 2, Chapter 9

[vail_kagami]

Title: And this Great Blue World of Ours (2.09)
Fandom: Supernatural
Beta: minviendha
Characters (overall): Dean, Castiel, Sam, plus a number of angels and demons
Rating (overall): NC-17
Warnings (overall): violence, torture, drug use, insanity, mentions of rape
Spoilers: Going AU during episode 5.18: Point of No Return. No spoilers for after season five.
Words (

Comments

[sinka]

Damn it. I feel fooled! I stupidly expected the demon blood to magically make Sam all better. But of course it couldn't be taht easy and he's still barely holding himself together. This is so NOT fair, but life was never fair to Sam.

And Castiel is hurt, Dean is hurt, Sam is a mess (and feeling guilty for drinking demon blood and because the others are hurt) and EVERYTHING depends on Jena. I can't say I'm feeling very positive about the situation. Mainly because I don't trust Jena AT ALL and we still don't know where the hell they are going or what's the plan. And whatever it is, we know Sam's wellbeing is NOT the first priority. Besides the way she's acting like Sam's pusher, deciding when and how much demon blood he gets (and make him lick from her palm, WTF?????) it's really getting on my nerves. I DO NOT LIKE IT A BIT!! I kind of want her gone and the brothers to try their luck alone, but I know without her they wouldn't have any chance, damn it...

By the way I'm kind of worried about Castiel too. Everybody seems to think he's immortal, but he is not an angel anymore and I think he's pushing himself to the limit while nobody is looking.

The ghosts and the way they just moved on was... unerving. Did they move on because they saw how miserable Sam is already? It's sad that even murdered vengeful ghosts pity him...

Dean keeps being awesome and winning points for brother of the year (it's been centuries since he last won that award). The way he helped and encouraged Sam through the climb and the passage through moria (ha!), and how he tried to be useful eventhough he couldn't really do much. I could feel his desperation and I'm pretty sure if Sam had fallen, he would have jumped behind.

It seems there’s not enough of anything, for him, in the world.

This sentence broke my heart (I think it gets broken twice per chapter). I'm glad Dean has come back to take care of Sam, because nobody else, not even Castiel or Sam himself really does it. They are way too rational.

Also, the conversations in this chapter hurt a lot. First the brothers trying to bond through good memories, but even those come with pain if only for comparison. And then Jena telling Dean and Cas about how Sam was also raped in heaven. I really should have seen that one coming, and I hate that rape has become something mundane for Sam. It's so HIM that he keeps quiet about it to protect Castiel's innocence...

Really, Sam's so broken I'm not sure he's even capable of healing. And Dean is broken too. They need to hug for decades, glad to see them start now.

Beautiful, haunting and painful chapter. Thank you!

P.S: ZOMBIE HORSES!! OMG THAT WAS AWESOME!!

P.S.S: Am I right in starting to see the end of the path? I do smell they are closer to wherever...

[vail_kagami]

You're not wrong - it might still take a while because I'm incapable of keeping things short, but they have definitely reached the last stretch of the road... if only because Sam won't get much further, as it is.
Writing this story is unnerving and I'm always short on time, but I think I'll miss it when it's over. (So I signed up for a minibang with a sort-of-prequel from Cas' pov.)

It's kind of funny: I could draw a map of Dean's character developement in this fic based on your reactions to his actions. Did I mention I love your comments? It's always such a delight to see the effect a story has on the readers.

They are all pushing themselves pretty hard, and it's impossible to tell for most on them if there's actually a point to it. So as long as he still can, Dean should spend all the time hugging his brother.

All. The. Time.

Hugs are good.

About the hand-feeding thing... it's at the same time degrading and intimate in a way that's more than a little creepy and twisted. I absolutely get why Dean doesn't like it. As for Cas, he's probably used to doing it back in the day, when Sam was too weak to feed himself. And Sammy, at this point, is probably beyond caring...

[sinka]

I love Dean, you know that, he only had to stop hiding and start facing his actions to redeem himself in my eyes. Mainly because he really didn't mean for all that terrible things to happen. Guess I'm easy, huh? (but Sam is easier!).

You brought my comments onto yourself, because you gave me free way to babble and ramble. I usually have to *restraint* mysefl in my comments when a story moves me this much, so I don't have to worry about this with you. Besides I love talking about the characters and about what well-written stories make me feel!

A prequel from Cas POV? That's awesome! I'm really dying to read it. The past and background of this story is so rich that I would like to read it all in details!

I'm looking forward to see how all wraps up but I will also miss this fic terribly. I don't think I've never been so invested in one before. I wait on it with the same (o more) anticipation that the actual series, and it has become alive in my mind! I could say it's because I rarely read wips but the truth is that it pushes every and each one of my buttons.

And yeah, hugs all the time, somebody should write that! *winks*

The hand-feeding thing also reminded me to a scene in season 4 in wich Sam licks desperately his own hands to take the last remains of demon blood, and it broke my heart being him because it was already degrading. So being Jena is a big nono for me. Castiel at least does it with love.

Now two weeks for the next chapter (damn!)