(no subject)
Perhaps I am the biggest oxymoron of them all.
As a young child, I was raised by a single mom, who played poker on the weekends in order to pay for our lunches at school the next week, and the reasons and actions that lead to divorce between her and my dad were fit for a daytime soap opera, or Jerry Springer. Then, as a teenager, with my mom's marriage to a doctor, I found myself in the wourld of elitest. I was never very well embraced by the elitest, though the nicer of the 'country club' people tended to like me, partially for my dreaming manner and partially for my random realistic thoughts that seemed to remind all of them that they were no bigger a part of this world than myself. Of course, the others hated me for the same reasons. Still, my mom's idea of a perfect weekend while being married to him involved a nice dinner at the country club, while mine was centered around horses and barns until 12 a.m.
Therefore, it seems I am now a mix of what I was raised to be. I am very thankful for where I am, what I have, but I'm still that dreamer that came from being raised as I was when I was young. I never fully accepted the role of bieng a socialites daughter. When 'important' company came, I was usually found either by the lake or in my room. I always felt as though they were so self-centered, I would find myself sneering in conversation with them as they spoke of themselves and their family as though they were so impressive that I should be nearly as engrossed in them as they were. They seemed to be striving for the top tier of society, while I was quite content being at the bottom, with the pets, as they seemed far more intelligent and far less obnoxious and judgemental.
Here, in Athens, I found my roughest sides finally getting to free themselves. Last night, though, my boss took me to his apartment, which is above the barn where his wife works (along with the apartment I'm moving into shortly). I ate dinner with them and drank a bit of wine. I have been CRAVING white whine lately, and cajun krab dip lately. My mom loves both of those...
Anyway.. They seem so happy, My boss (Nick) and his wife (Margaret). While they aren't rich, they are so content (.. in a way, of course they have the typical complaints that everyone has- co-workers, bosses, etc.)
Eh. All the White Zinfindale has made my point of all of this get blurred, then lost. So, I'll sit and listen to my music and try to find myself among the fog.
As a young child, I was raised by a single mom, who played poker on the weekends in order to pay for our lunches at school the next week, and the reasons and actions that lead to divorce between her and my dad were fit for a daytime soap opera, or Jerry Springer. Then, as a teenager, with my mom's marriage to a doctor, I found myself in the wourld of elitest. I was never very well embraced by the elitest, though the nicer of the 'country club' people tended to like me, partially for my dreaming manner and partially for my random realistic thoughts that seemed to remind all of them that they were no bigger a part of this world than myself. Of course, the others hated me for the same reasons. Still, my mom's idea of a perfect weekend while being married to him involved a nice dinner at the country club, while mine was centered around horses and barns until 12 a.m.
Therefore, it seems I am now a mix of what I was raised to be. I am very thankful for where I am, what I have, but I'm still that dreamer that came from being raised as I was when I was young. I never fully accepted the role of bieng a socialites daughter. When 'important' company came, I was usually found either by the lake or in my room. I always felt as though they were so self-centered, I would find myself sneering in conversation with them as they spoke of themselves and their family as though they were so impressive that I should be nearly as engrossed in them as they were. They seemed to be striving for the top tier of society, while I was quite content being at the bottom, with the pets, as they seemed far more intelligent and far less obnoxious and judgemental.
Here, in Athens, I found my roughest sides finally getting to free themselves. Last night, though, my boss took me to his apartment, which is above the barn where his wife works (along with the apartment I'm moving into shortly). I ate dinner with them and drank a bit of wine. I have been CRAVING white whine lately, and cajun krab dip lately. My mom loves both of those...
Anyway.. They seem so happy, My boss (Nick) and his wife (Margaret). While they aren't rich, they are so content (.. in a way, of course they have the typical complaints that everyone has- co-workers, bosses, etc.)
Eh. All the White Zinfindale has made my point of all of this get blurred, then lost. So, I'll sit and listen to my music and try to find myself among the fog.