({.Changes...?.})
Have I really changed so much? Do I act so differently here that it has affected you? I've blamed what's happened---My secrets? I have none anymore. But could that just be an excuse? A scapegoat deployed to take my blame? Perhaps it is nobody's fault but my own that I have changed.
And still, I wonder... Have I changed at all?
Maybe I... Maybe here I act like myself. In which case, have I been lying to everyone, even myself, this entire year?? All my friends, or so called, do they associate with a mind that is not my own?
Cassandra, have you fallen in love with a non-existent entity?!?
And if so, who is he? Is he Jason? Or am I? If I come to terms with this "Other Me", Am I to lose all who are close to me? Will both of us form a new human being, a new soul, different from what we once were?
I can't continue this! Nothing can help me, I fear. Sanity is not an option. I've been teetering on the edge for years, and I'm afraid I'll soon lose my balance and crash to the rocks below.
Sweet, sweet jagged spires, will you end this for me? And when my mangled corpse is rotting and being eaten by gulls and worms, will my soul move on or will it forever haunt this earth? Dear, ancient, wise boulders, will you answer my many questions? Surely you, ones of neverending knowledge, can enlighten me as to WHY I'm insane? No, not even you have a remedy for my poisoned mind.
As guilt, regret, shame and ignorance overwhelm me once more, I again drop to my knees and beg for the forgiveness that I do not deserve.
I've failed you, my love.