(no subject)
My anger at the medical world is making it difficult for me to process my feelings over the death of my uncle. If doctors looked at people as a gestalt he would have had a swifter diagnosis and a better chance at survival. But they don't. Patients are just piles of symptoms between them and money. My uncle was a chemistry professor which increased his chances of getting cancer. He also had come down with shingles which is apparently an early indicator of the type of cancer he had. By the time they figured out what was really wrong he had been seriously sick for months and was too weak to be treated effectively.
My mother's youngest sister died years ago due to similar incompetence. You would think if a person were having seizures it would occur to the doctors to look inside her head and notice the tumor pressing on her brain! By the time they did it was inoperable. I won't even begin to rant about all the times i've been told there's nothing wrong with me.
I've never been one to express grief by weeping and wailing. I've never felt comforted by trite sayings. It feels wrong for me to offer banal words and forced tears. It's not that i can't or don't allow myself to feel; i just prefer quiet contemplation to wallowing in the outward display. Cold is more respectful than fake. Isn't it?
My mother's youngest sister died years ago due to similar incompetence. You would think if a person were having seizures it would occur to the doctors to look inside her head and notice the tumor pressing on her brain! By the time they did it was inoperable. I won't even begin to rant about all the times i've been told there's nothing wrong with me.
I've never been one to express grief by weeping and wailing. I've never felt comforted by trite sayings. It feels wrong for me to offer banal words and forced tears. It's not that i can't or don't allow myself to feel; i just prefer quiet contemplation to wallowing in the outward display. Cold is more respectful than fake. Isn't it?