(no subject)
Oops. I passed out early tonight--Tuesdays and Thursdays are long days for me--and now I am awake at 4am. I have a Russian vocab quiz tomorrow. I know a very small fraction of the words, but can't be bothered to care right now. I'm doing suprisingly well in math. I need to quit slacking in German and actually do the work and study. Then I have one class that I haven't even started yet. It's a measely 1 credit self-paced online course called "Choices in a Consumer Society" or something. I have a really hard time giving a fuck about Russian. So much of the work you must do yourself at home. Class feels so unnecessary, it's mostly only for repeating things outloud. I can do that shit by myself; why can't you explain/go over the grammar and spelling rules? The instructor hasn't even bothered to come up with her own lession plans: she blatantly uses a professor's from another university.
Anyway. It was not my intention to turn this into a bitchfest.
Cyrus is a huge reason why I can't concentrate. It's been almost a month since we've seen each other, but he's coming here on Thursday and I'm so excited! When we're not together, thinking about him makes me soooo happy, so that's all I want to do! I love him so much, more than I have ever loved anything. And, really, I think this is the first time I've ever really been in love.
When I reflect upon my past relationships, I understand now that I've been settling, but I didn't even know it. I obviously didn't know what love was like, or that two people could mesh so effortlessly together. Part of me wishes that I could undo those relationships, but I know that everything happens for a reason. They have shaped me into who I am today and make me appreciate what we have so much more. I love him for exactly who he is--not who I want him to be or who I imagine him to be. When we're apart I miss him; it's not loneliness. I've never felt less alone, even where there are several hundred miles between us.
He's so good to me and makes me feel like a goddess, the sun. Every day he tells me how much he loves me, how amazing he thinks I am, how he can't wait to spend the rest of his life with me, and it makes me swell and radiate. It's so incredible how much alike we are, as if we've grown up together and in the same direction. As if we're two parallel paths that are converging into one. He's my dream and I can't believe that I've found him, that he's mine!
I love to dream about our wedding day, our future home together, and all the things we'll share. Although we're not officially engaged--I don't have a ring--he has asked me several times to marry him, and I have said/would say yes with no hesitations. I wanted to tell my family--I want to tell the whole word!--but I don't know where to start. (My family likes him, asks about him, and even seemed surprised that he wasn't there for Rob's party!) For once I could be content without a ring or a piece of paper, but he wants it as much as I do! So amazing.
I know this is bordering on really cheesy here, but do you know this scene?
When I was younger it used to make me cry, I thought it was so sweet. A couple of nights ago Cyrus told me, "I can't wait to grow old with you." I cried.
Anyway. It was not my intention to turn this into a bitchfest.
Cyrus is a huge reason why I can't concentrate. It's been almost a month since we've seen each other, but he's coming here on Thursday and I'm so excited! When we're not together, thinking about him makes me soooo happy, so that's all I want to do! I love him so much, more than I have ever loved anything. And, really, I think this is the first time I've ever really been in love.
When I reflect upon my past relationships, I understand now that I've been settling, but I didn't even know it. I obviously didn't know what love was like, or that two people could mesh so effortlessly together. Part of me wishes that I could undo those relationships, but I know that everything happens for a reason. They have shaped me into who I am today and make me appreciate what we have so much more. I love him for exactly who he is--not who I want him to be or who I imagine him to be. When we're apart I miss him; it's not loneliness. I've never felt less alone, even where there are several hundred miles between us.
He's so good to me and makes me feel like a goddess, the sun. Every day he tells me how much he loves me, how amazing he thinks I am, how he can't wait to spend the rest of his life with me, and it makes me swell and radiate. It's so incredible how much alike we are, as if we've grown up together and in the same direction. As if we're two parallel paths that are converging into one. He's my dream and I can't believe that I've found him, that he's mine!
I love to dream about our wedding day, our future home together, and all the things we'll share. Although we're not officially engaged--I don't have a ring--he has asked me several times to marry him, and I have said/would say yes with no hesitations. I wanted to tell my family--I want to tell the whole word!--but I don't know where to start. (My family likes him, asks about him, and even seemed surprised that he wasn't there for Rob's party!) For once I could be content without a ring or a piece of paper, but he wants it as much as I do! So amazing.
I know this is bordering on really cheesy here, but do you know this scene?
Click to viewWhen I was younger it used to make me cry, I thought it was so sweet. A couple of nights ago Cyrus told me, "I can't wait to grow old with you." I cried.