the road that i'm travelling is where i belong.

[vaginasandsuch]

hi friends!

so i got back to berkeley wednesday and i'm still trying to reorient myself, but i wanted to say a couple of things!

• jeni and i broke up yesterday. it was pretty much the most amicable, openly communicative breakup in the history of ever. she was just like "we should probably talk at some point. i've been feeling this way and i feel like you might feel the same, but i don't know what's in your head." and i was all damn! i was going to initiate this conversation when i was ready! but really it was better that she started it, because she was coming from a place of having had a week to herself to really think about where she's at and where this relationship is at. (i was stepping out of a closet of self-denial and having no time/space to really breathe/think the way i needed to about these things.) anyway! we both came to the conclusion that we weren't as emotionally invested in the relationship, or as emotionally connected to one another as we could be. or even should be. basically we just decided to end it, and were totally communicative and awesome about it.
  
  it was awesome. and then we talked about how cool some of the elements of our relationship were and how we really admired each other. it was seriously more like a check-out (letting everyone know how you feel at the end of a class or activity) than a breakup. on some serious shit, i'm really glad i got to have this opportunity, because i have a feeling none of my future relationships or breakups will be this awesome. i savored it!!
• changed my facebook relationship status, and i'm pretty sure alison O. messaged me as soon as she saw that shit, asking if i'm free sunday night. after 2.5 months of radio silence, that is. and, truthfully, i would go. but i have class at 9am on monday. so, no.
• it is soooooo good to be back! i love berkeley. i do not love that i have class at 9am on monday. whomps!
• it is time to look for a job. we are presently on desperate hunt status. =/ hopefully i will learn to deal with the anxiety this causes me.
• bandom!! so much fic! amazing!
• Spanish 2 starts monday. the last time i took spanish, it was 2005. D= i've been trying to practice and get myself ready, but i'm terrified that i will fail. because berkeley language classes apparently crush people's dreams on the regular. and my spanish classes weren't all that serious in high school anyway, if we're being honest. technically i should be in spanish 3, but i KNOW i'm not ready for that.
  
  the point of this is that i have post-it notes translating the things in my room, and my phone and facebook are in spanish, and i'm watching my csi dvds in spanish, and i made a pandora station based on music that is in spanish (still taking music recs!!!!). i still feel wildly unprepared. =(
• sarah and i applied for an apartment. i am rly, rly hoping we get it. because it's awesome. and crazy affordable. and sarah and i are pretty fuckin ready to move.
• i love travis mccoy. a lot. gushing entry on him later.

and that's about it! i am alive, friends! i'm even looking forward to my obstacles at this point. it's good to be back (and i'm not just talking physical location). take care of yourselves. ♥