Spring Cleaning,
I awoke yesterday with this urge to clean. I’m pretty clean, but really *wanting* to clean is a rare occasion. It was probably because I was procrastinating something else. That’s usually when it happens. I vacuumed, did laundry, wiped down all surfaces. You name it. I was taking the last of the trash bags to the dumpster behind my house when I saw this pretty cat innocently watching me from the street. ‘Aw, hello there Kitty.’ I coaxed it towards my house. Once I opened my front door, it ran right upstairs, its little paws thudding at the speed of light. I followed, and heard the sweet thing scuttling around in my bedroom. ‘How cute’ I thought. ‘The cat knew which room was mine.’ Smiling, I stepped into my room to see the cat crouched in the center of my floor. To my horror, it proceeded to take a shit before my very eyes. A watery one. I promptly screamed, kicked the cat out of the house, and spent the next hour gagging while I bleached the carpet with ‘mulberry spice scented thick bleach’. Didn’t think that would happen. This is what I get for wanting to clean.