(no subject)
well im home from the hospital, but i still cant remember the actual event that put me there. i find some sense of comfort in knowing that it wasnt my fault. i was ice-skating friday night (sounded like a good idea at the time) and apparently someone ran into me, knocking me backwards. the hours before this are blurry at best. i have been told by those who accompanied me that at that point my mind became set on a loop, repeating questions and statements about every 30 seconds. i cant recall being taken to the hospital, but i do remember seconds, maybe flashes, of terror and pain between spaces of fog in my mind. i remember realizing i was in a neckbrace, having my earings removed, being put into a catscan machine (not the actual catscan), and some hit and miss concious thoughts. i guess these thoughts are what i repeated over and over again.
i do remember the confusion that accompaied the slow retreat of the fog, and the fear in the eyes of my companion. the panic, oh the panic, and the headache, my comprehension still distorted. probably most terrifying for he who stayed with me the whole time was that i was never unconcious, i continued speaking and sounding like myself throughout the ordeal, although beset with moments of grief and bawling as my mind hit reset. the best way to describe what i can recall is to visualize a strip of film that has large chunks cut out of it with whats left being foggy and dark..
its gonna take a while to shake this off - and no more ice-skating