thoughts
After watching Becoming Jane, I have decided something.
All I want is an epic love full of lots of passion.
Even if it is short-lived, and sad, that will be enough for me.
My head's just been so funny lately... I don't know what's going on with it. I'm over someone for sure, and now it feels like I have nothing. In some ways, it's so good. SO GOOD. In other ways, it feels awful - I need a new crush. I don't want to look, because I know that it will happen, and it won't help to look. And everyone always says it will happen when I least expect it, but it's hard not to want it.
I need to start going to the gym or something, blah... I'm so sick of this. I'm always sick of this.
Why does nothing in my life ever change? My problems are always the same... always... I need to change something. So bored of the same old same old.
and yet so terrified of the unknown.
sometimes i wonder if I have weird mental blocks.
As in, I'm so terrified of intimacy that I gained weight to protect myself and made sure that no guy would want me... and maybe I still feel that way on some subconcious level? Or maybe I feel like I don't deserve love or something?
I'm in a funny mood. And I need to stop thinking and start doing.
All I want is an epic love full of lots of passion.
Even if it is short-lived, and sad, that will be enough for me.
My head's just been so funny lately... I don't know what's going on with it. I'm over someone for sure, and now it feels like I have nothing. In some ways, it's so good. SO GOOD. In other ways, it feels awful - I need a new crush. I don't want to look, because I know that it will happen, and it won't help to look. And everyone always says it will happen when I least expect it, but it's hard not to want it.
I need to start going to the gym or something, blah... I'm so sick of this. I'm always sick of this.
Why does nothing in my life ever change? My problems are always the same... always... I need to change something. So bored of the same old same old.
and yet so terrified of the unknown.
sometimes i wonder if I have weird mental blocks.
As in, I'm so terrified of intimacy that I gained weight to protect myself and made sure that no guy would want me... and maybe I still feel that way on some subconcious level? Or maybe I feel like I don't deserve love or something?
I'm in a funny mood. And I need to stop thinking and start doing.