Appology to whomever will read it.
Today I am panicked as I have been for the past week. Life it would appear has pasted to quickly yet again and is in the process of screwing someone I care about deeply... Life as we know is always about screwing; from either side on varying degrees of success and pleasure. This week has not been pleasurable think more of against the wall in a prison bathroom, than candlelight and satin sheets.
But I digress. I am sorry my love and light of my life I have been raving this week in panic, it has nothing to do with you.
Why if life is what we make of it does it appear that the effort I put in has no particular advantage for me, or anyone else in my line of ducks. In better times (or at least times of less stress) I try to remind people to be a duck. Water slides off a ducks back. Ducks just don't care about minutia, and last week I found a flock of them in a bar parking lot... at midnight... Just hanging around being duck like. I didn't grill them about age or any of that, just fed them and wandered off. They were completely pleased with my small offering of goodwill. So you ask why I tell epople to be ducks, didn't I just answer that?
Back to the panic. I am hoping that by putting this down here I can accomplish two goals. One that the pulse of my heart (yes I can go on all night with endearments) will feel as though they have not been living with a lunatic and two that I will feel less panicked by the act of putting it down.
It's not a good get things done panic. Its the cold gripping panic that whispers you know there is nothing you can do about this. No way to change it. No good can come of this. I yelled at a government employee today. I felt horrible about it but that's one of the things about panic it make you act irrationally. I can not control this situation. I want to be able to but there is nothing in it for me to do. I'm trying to remain somewhat sane, but I'm pretty sure it's not working.
The song remains the same.
Sorry heart of my heart.
Donarid.
But I digress. I am sorry my love and light of my life I have been raving this week in panic, it has nothing to do with you.
Why if life is what we make of it does it appear that the effort I put in has no particular advantage for me, or anyone else in my line of ducks. In better times (or at least times of less stress) I try to remind people to be a duck. Water slides off a ducks back. Ducks just don't care about minutia, and last week I found a flock of them in a bar parking lot... at midnight... Just hanging around being duck like. I didn't grill them about age or any of that, just fed them and wandered off. They were completely pleased with my small offering of goodwill. So you ask why I tell epople to be ducks, didn't I just answer that?
Back to the panic. I am hoping that by putting this down here I can accomplish two goals. One that the pulse of my heart (yes I can go on all night with endearments) will feel as though they have not been living with a lunatic and two that I will feel less panicked by the act of putting it down.
It's not a good get things done panic. Its the cold gripping panic that whispers you know there is nothing you can do about this. No way to change it. No good can come of this. I yelled at a government employee today. I felt horrible about it but that's one of the things about panic it make you act irrationally. I can not control this situation. I want to be able to but there is nothing in it for me to do. I'm trying to remain somewhat sane, but I'm pretty sure it's not working.
The song remains the same.
Sorry heart of my heart.
Donarid.