Tired, Bored, and Procrastinating
So here I am, procrastinating the 2 projects I've got to get done before my Drawing class in 2 hours. So I thought I'd throw up a journal entry.
These past few weeks I've come to a somewhat uneasy conclusion. I thrive off communication and socialization. I feel as though I am in constant need to be talking with someone. And I'm not sure how it's affecting my relationship with my friends. I'm under the impression that they realize that I have this flaw and it makes them look down upon me. But maybe that's just me being paranoid. I can honestly say that I put the majority of my friends before myself. Even if they don't ask for it. I'll be in the middle of writing something for school, and all of the sudden I'll just open up facebook of AIM and pick a random person and start up a conversation with them. Is that wrong? I mean I'm aware that my work ethic sucks anyway, but I feel that if I don't have this bond and connection that I just go crazy. Part of me is screaming at me to stop analyzing all of this and just chill out. At times I really do feel like Dr. Manhattan from watchmen. Silk Spectere describes him perfectly bu saying: "You understand how everything in this world works except people" At times I feel the same way and feel as though it's my obligation to figure it out. But at the same time, I realize that people and society cannot be "understood". *sigh* I guess that I'm destined to be a troubled and confused cultural anthropologist. But back to the original point... I need social interaction. Why? I'll bet a good part of it could be attributed to the massive interaction and connection I had with Kelsey. Seriously, during our relationship there wasn't a 12 hour period when we didn't have some sort of communication between us. Hmm... I guess that's a lot of what I'm going through. Slowly working myself away from such a bond and trying to return to having a normal relaxed interaction with my friends. It's really hard. And I hope my friends can understand that and put up with my crazyness for a little longer. I'll bet college has a lot to do with it too.
...Maybe I'll switch my major to Psychology.
These past few weeks I've come to a somewhat uneasy conclusion. I thrive off communication and socialization. I feel as though I am in constant need to be talking with someone. And I'm not sure how it's affecting my relationship with my friends. I'm under the impression that they realize that I have this flaw and it makes them look down upon me. But maybe that's just me being paranoid. I can honestly say that I put the majority of my friends before myself. Even if they don't ask for it. I'll be in the middle of writing something for school, and all of the sudden I'll just open up facebook of AIM and pick a random person and start up a conversation with them. Is that wrong? I mean I'm aware that my work ethic sucks anyway, but I feel that if I don't have this bond and connection that I just go crazy. Part of me is screaming at me to stop analyzing all of this and just chill out. At times I really do feel like Dr. Manhattan from watchmen. Silk Spectere describes him perfectly bu saying: "You understand how everything in this world works except people" At times I feel the same way and feel as though it's my obligation to figure it out. But at the same time, I realize that people and society cannot be "understood". *sigh* I guess that I'm destined to be a troubled and confused cultural anthropologist. But back to the original point... I need social interaction. Why? I'll bet a good part of it could be attributed to the massive interaction and connection I had with Kelsey. Seriously, during our relationship there wasn't a 12 hour period when we didn't have some sort of communication between us. Hmm... I guess that's a lot of what I'm going through. Slowly working myself away from such a bond and trying to return to having a normal relaxed interaction with my friends. It's really hard. And I hope my friends can understand that and put up with my crazyness for a little longer. I'll bet college has a lot to do with it too.
...Maybe I'll switch my major to Psychology.