Merry Christmas to ya'll!

[vadalia]

Merry Belated Christmas!

I know it's kinda late (it's only a couple hours late!) but I was busting my ass all day trying to finish the fic for ya'll so here it is...

Author: Vadalia

Fandom: Saiyuki

Pairing: Cho Gonou/ Chin Yisou and Hakkai/Goyjo... obviously implied Cho/Kanan.

Rating: NC- 17... of course...

Warnings: Non-con and... um... angst... but maybe that goes without saying as it's Saiyuki I may have written them a bit OOC but I'm not quite sure... I really can't get a good bead on the Saiyuki characters. Which is probably why, I believe, this is my first fanfic of that fandom.

Notes: Er... I changed a few things (most notably, what happened when Chin-E-Sue (also known as Chin Yisou) turned Hakkai (also known as Gonou) And yes, I was kinda skimpy on the smut... it was just really REALLY hard to get any in there... So be thankful for what you've got. Also- this fulfills ANY duty I had to write somethng happy for you sick and twisted people!!! Well... it ends happily anyway...



"What is wrong with these people?" Hakkai looked up at Gojyo’s annoyed growl. He was cringing, sinking farther down into his seat as another roar of "Merry Christmas!" filled the inn. "And what the hell is a ‘Merry Christmas’ anyway?" The water sprite took a long drag of his cigarette and cringed again, this time because Goku had decided that it would be a good idea to start yelling right in his ear.

"Ah Gojyo, you’re just cranky because you’ve got a hang-over," Goku cheerfully observed, completely oblivious to the fact that the half-breed was giving him a look that was usually a prelude to death. "Besides, look at all the food they got! I wonder if they’d let me have some..."

Hakkai smiled slightly at the tightly clenched fist that was making it’s way nearer and nearer to Goku’s head and decided that he should probably say something before things got violent.

"It’s a celebration." He explained quietly, as the two other demons looked at him with blank faces.

"Celebration for what?" asked Goku, looking around the room. It was covered in green and red decorations, and in the far corner a tree was almost doubled over from the weight of all the colorful trinkets people had hung on it. The main dining room was filled with people, and every time someone new walked in, that same greeting rang out yet again.

"It’s an annual commemoration for the birth of the one these people believe is their savior."

This explanation only drew more blank stares and a derisive snort from Sanzo, the first thing Hakkai had heard out of him all afternoon.

"Some savior." he muttered. "These people don’t look very saved to me." Hakkai had to look around for a moment to realize what the priest was talking about. Then it dawned on him, several of the families who had gathered to celebrate were missing members. In reality only a few tables had men at them, and even then it was usually a young boy or old man. There had been several posters hung around town recruiting men to fight against the increasingly violent demon hordes and Hakkai supposed that most of the able-bodied had joined up. It almost physically pained him to see the broken families and it had nothing to do with the time of year.

The rest of their day was one of muted contentment. Gojyo waited out his hang-over, Goku stuffed himself with food, Sanzo was still being quieter than usual but otherwise seemed fine, and Hakkai simply watched his friends. On this day, though he hadn’t actually celebrated anything in years, it was particularly easy to become caught up in memories best left alone.

"What’s wrong?"

Hakkai snapped back to reality at the question and realized Gojyo stood in front of him. It was now night and his roommate was staring, an inscrutable look on his face.

Hakkai prepared to put on his usual banal smile and ask what his friend meant, but he realized that while lost in thought, he had been gently caressing the scar on his stomach. Dodging the question wouldn’t put off Gojyo, not when he had that look on his face. And it felt wrong to lie to him, on this of all days. He turned away, looking at himself in the mirror on the dresser and buttoning his nightshirt the rest of the way.

"Today is Christmas."

Hakkai found that he couldn’t go on. He had the words but not the will to say them. However, Goyjo waited, giving the man before him the time he needed to finally whisper, "Kanan loved Christmas."

The silence that followed from the half-breed was louder and more damning than any words could be but Hakkai felt as if a dam had been broken and he couldn’t stem the tide of words that followed. "She always used to bake treats for the children I taught. She’d make special ones for the children who didn’t have any family and for weeks afterward she’d smell like sugar and..."

He stopped at the sound of the door slamming behind Gojyo. His hands rested flatly on the dresser for a moment and he didn’t think they’d even shook as much when they’d been covered with blood, the night he’d become a demon. No matter how foolish it might seem to poke a hornet’s nest, he had to go after the half-breed. His behavior and words had been what hurt Gojyo and he had to at least track him down and apologize.

He quickly crossed the room and opened the door, stopping short when he saw his friend leaning against the wall, a seemingly ever present cigarette dangling from his lips. Hakkai silently shut the door behind him, mindful that Goku and Sanzo were sleeping in the next room and the walls of the inn were rather thin.

"I’m sorry." He said, knowing it was mournfully inadequate but nothing else came to him. For someone who always seem to know what needed to be said, he was failing in one of the only times it really mattered.

"Sorry for what? I just wanted a smoke." Gojyo was lying and Hakkai knew it and that only made him feel worse.

"I shouldn’t have brought it up. It was stupid and I upset you for nothing."

Gojyo shrugged, "It wasn’t nothing. You were upset and so I listened. That’s what friends are supposed to do, isn’t it?"

Hakkai looked up, surprised at the word. Friends. He wasn’t quite sure what the other man saw them as, perhaps he did think of their relationship as one of friends-with-benefits, but right now he was hurting. Only three years ago Hakkai had taught children like him, especially the boys. They got hurt and they were afraid at times but none of them ever wanted to show it. Gojyo may have had years more of practicing this talent but it didn’t make him any better at it than Hakkai’s students had been.

"Gojyo..."

"Don’t" Another long drag of the cigarette after the almost-too-loud interruption. "I can’t compete with her, not with a ghost. And I’m not going to get upset that I can’t. It’s as simple as that." He reached over to an ash tray and snuffed out what was left. "So let’s get some sleep. Sanzo’s probably gonna wanna move out tomorrow."

As Gojyo moved past him to go back into the room, Hakkai reached out, putting a shaking hand on his shoulder. They stayed that way for a moment that could have been forever, but finally, the half-breed shrugged it off. They both went to their beds alone and with the feeling that something was between them now, a gulf that had always been there but seemed wider and deeper than ever.

* * * * * * * * Three Years Earlier * * * * * * *

Cries from the dungeons could be heard from quite a distance when it was full. As it was, Chin Yisou had to strain to hear the scant few survivors from the Centipede demon clan’s last raid. He had a feeling that his father would be striking out to collect a fresh supply of human’s soon.

As he stepped past the dungeon’s guards, the clan heir was greeted by fear, hatred, and desperation. This was why he so loved to visit his father’s pet humans- their emotions and weakness caressed his skin as would a lover’s hand.

At his self-indulgent appearance, the weeping grew louder. He was known to bring grief- even more than they were already drowning in- to the women and occasional men that were kept here. And he was feared greatly because of it.

Chin Yisou frowned for a moment, then chuckled to himself and glided towards one of the far cells. No sound passed through the bars, though he could clearly see the woman who curled protectively around herself in the back corner. Perhaps in some feeble attempt at salvation from her current agony. He recognized her as one of his father’s newest favorites.

"Woman..." he drawled. He saw her flinch but she still made no sound. He motioned for one of the guards to unlock her cage door and he stepped lightly inside. "Woman, don’t you know that you are to acknowledge your betters?"

He drank in the sight of her, not much different than any other beast when in pain. Eyes wide in terror, breath heavy as her body trembled in fear or misery or cold. Chin Yisou really didn’t care which of the three it was, only that she still did not answer.

Crouching, he struck out. Fisting a handful of the woman’s hair, Chin Yisou jerked her head sharply to the side.

"You’re testing my patience."

"He’ll come." She whispered finally.

"He? What are you talking about, wench?" Chin Yisou tried to think of what little he’d heard about the current crop of slaves. "Ah yes, now I remember. You’re the one who slept with your own brother, are you not? You don’t really think that he’ll come to rescue you... especially now?"

She looked at him confused, tears still sliding helplessly down her face. She flinched as his hand made its way towards her stomach and rested there a moment. "Do you think your lover will want a used woman with a half-breed bastard growing inside of her."

The figure recoiled in horror as realization settled on her worn features. "No..." she choked.

Chin Yisou laughed, he so loved when his father’s toys stayed alive long enough to become with child. It made for such amusement to tell these women that what was probably their worst fear had come true. "Yes." He hissed. "I can already feel its life energy growing inside you. It’ll be lovely to have yet another sibling to play with." He stroked her belly lightly as she collapsed in a fresh wave of grief.

He would have continued his torment, he loved the way she trembled beneath his hands, but there came a shout from the entrance of the dungeon. A wounded member of the Centipede demon clan stumbled in, claiming that their Keep was under attack from some man. A human. And that the human was winning.

The woman beneath him shivered even harder, "Gonou..."

"Eh? You think it’s him? Then perhaps I should go greet this man myself. He intrigues me..." Chin Yisou stepped away from the woman, ignoring her pleas for him to stop, and melted into the shadows to wait for the brave but foolish man. Perhaps he could kill this woman in front of him. Wouldn’t that be delicious? To have come all this way only to have your lover struck down when you think you’ve saved her.

Chin Yisou did not have to wait long. A breathtaking boy, barely old enough to be called anything else, limped into the room, obviously hurt. Until he saw his woman, at which point he ran to her cell, spouting disgusting apologies and promises of a safe return home. However, soon things became more interesting, much to the Centipede prince’s delight. The girl, Kanan, had taken her lover’s dagger and slit open her own womb. He had wanted to kill her himself but there was something especially twisted in this course of events.

He stepped out of the darkness behind the man, "Oh, did the woman die?" he asked lightly. "How very kind. She wasn’t forced to see her monster child. You are the one who loved her, yes?" Though the answer was obvious, the boy had yet to move. Annoying, just like the woman. "I’ve heard of you. From what I understand, you are her brother. To think your first woman was your older sister." Chin Yisou couldn’t resist one last jab, "Is it really healthy for siblings to be doing such things?"

The boy finally reacted, turning to face him and what Chin Yisou saw struck him dumb. The gorgeous eyes of a cold-blooded murderer. He licked his lips in immediate arousal at the sight. He’d not felt so moved in a hundred years. He continued to taunt this killer, no longer even bothering to pay attention to what he was saying, he was so engrossed in that chilling visage.

The boy tried to hurt him, to kill him. But he was so weak from all his previous fights that it was as easy beating him as it was to swat an annoying fly. Chin Yisou was almost disappointed. He felt a connection with Gonou and was disgusted that it was so easy to beat him. But how could he make this more fun? The boy could barely move.

But... but there was an old legend, was there not? That if a human slaughtered a thousand demons, he could become one himself. Chin Yisou considered it for a moment, there were close to that number of his clan in the Keep. It was a long shot... but wouldn’t that simply make it more fun?

He used the sword he’d just run the boy through with and turned it on his own flesh. It was satisfying in the worst way to see his own blood splatter on the already-crimson stained body. He could feel his arousal press against the silk of his outfit and the scent of fresh blood made his mouth water.

"I haven’t been this excited in years," he told the figure on the floor, who had begun to howl in pain. He was amazed when he realized it was because his body was changing. The legend was true, this human was becoming one of his own. And Chin Yisou was determined to claim the reborn boy.

Snapping out of his reverie in time to dodge a blow that would have taken off his head, he slammed the animal’s wrists to the ground as the solid body beneath him raged. Chin Yisou realized that only the gaping wound in the newborn demon’s stomach was keeping him from tearing the Centipede prince apart. Deadly fury made him stronger than the older man by far. But this just made it more exciting.

Holding the man down with one hand, Chin Yisou picked up his sword from where it had been knocked from his grip. In one smooth stroke, he buried it into Gonou’s wrists, pinning them together and to the floor above his head. An unearthly howl pierced the air and the boy struggled only more.

Chin Yisou briefly entertained trying to kiss this deadly creature. In any other case, he would have done it gently, as one does with a delicate woman, but any further attempt to infuriate the other man would be useless- he was too far gone already.

So the sole survivor of the Centipede clan settled for slowly stroking the thighs of the man he was straddling, as if trying to sooth a wounded animal. Which, in the most literal of senses, he was.

Chin Yisou smiled as the boy quieted slightly. Then his claws tore at the fabric beneath them and even the tender skin under that, until the target of his desire was bare before him. The demon Gonou was already half erect, no doubt the result of his bloodlust. Without further provocation, the demon prince wrapped his slender fingers around the trembling thighs and spread them, taking hot flesh into his mouth.

Another scream rent the air but this one was not entirely of pain. It was full of anguish, to be sure, but not pain. Chin Yisou smiled around what his mouth was busy with, again stroking the back of the boy’s leg to calm him. This was what he loved to do- break his boys, reassure and even shower them with affection, only to destroy them yet again. There was nothing better than the twisted look of torment on a beautiful boy’s face.

He bestowed a gentle kiss on the head of Gonou’s arousal, cheerfully making plans on what to do with him later, as he slipped a finger into the boy’s body. The demon gasped and arched his back, which only split the wound in his belly open wider. Chin Yisou smiled again, reveling in the heat and tightness of his newest plaything. He had obviously never been used by a man before. Indeed, he was the loyal type and had probably only ever been intimate with that woman. This was going to be fun.

He entered the body far before it was prepared. Chin Yisou preferred to force his way into virgins, the right amount of brutality the first time around could unconsciously train a person far better than anything done later. The form he thrust into writhed beneath him in agony and the blood spilling unheeded from his wound only drove the prince into sharpened heights of pleasure.

He was almost at his peak when everything went terribly wrong. One last cry, louder than any of the others, and a beautiful cracking sound came from the boy. Chin Yisou was thrown against the wall and he realized that Gonou must have ripped through the skin and bone of his wrists to free himself. That was the last thought he had as a living demon as the boy’s fist struck him- buried themselves in him.

Chin Yisou laughed to himself as he fell limp against the other demon’s arms in what could have been mistaken for a twisted embrace. That is, until even through the madness and fury and pain, Gonou moaned one thing- Kanan. The Centipede prince hissed in anger, he would not be killed while the boy was thinking of his woman.

He fished a mahjong tile out of his shirt- he would come back and break this foolish man. Already, seething hatred was stronger in his body than even the pain. And though the demon would not be able to understand him, Chin Yisou could not let him leave without one final word. A parting gift until they met again.

"Gonou, you should thank me for making you a demon. You were a pitiful man." The demon, already limping towards the door after having thrust the near-corpse to the ground like a useless piece of rotten meat, stopped. Though he could not understand the words, he would have gone back and ripped the other man’s throat out if he hadn’t already sensed that man dying. "Your woman chose death rather than to live with such a disgusting excuse for a husband. She could have gotten rid of the child, any village wise woman knows how to do that, but instead she chose to slit open her own body. Death was a better choice for her than living with you."

But when he came back from death, the demon was already gone.

* * * * * * * * Present * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Sharp pain tore through Hakkai as he gasped awake. It took a shaky moment to realize that he was covered in cold sweat and staring at Gojyo’s concerned face. "Hakkai, what’s wrong?" Worry darkened the half-breed’s features.

Hakkai couldn’t answer for a moment as he grasped his chest in pain. Unlike the throbbing of the scar on his belly that kept him awake many nights, this was a lightening-flash agony that stole his breath away.

"Gojyo, I just... remembered something." The half-breed only looked at him confused. "Something Chin Yisou said... when he turned me."

Blood-red eyes widened "That twisted little centipede freak?"

Hakkai nodded, closing his eyes. "He said that Kanan..." he stopped when there was an almost pained intake of breath from the other man. He grabbed the half-breed’s wrist "No! Listen. Chin Yisou said that Kanan made a choice. I think... I think that what she went through... love wasn’t enough to bring her back. I lost her because what we had together wasn’t strong enough."

"That’s not why..."

Hakkai interrupted the other man, "Wait, just listen. I care for you, Gojyo." The half-breed was so shocked that he could only gap. As an almost unwritten rule, what went on between Hakkai and him was not to be discussed and certainly things like love were never even supposed to be alluded to. But the man went on, "I don’t know what you think we have here. But the code you and Sanzo and Goku live by is to do what you want, put yourself above everyone, and that’s what I’m doing. I don’t care what you think about us, but I do care for you."

The room was silent for just long enough for Hakkai to believe that he’d made a terrible mistake. Then- "And what if I say I hate you? You were just a tumble in the sheets on cold nights? What if I ask why you’re even telling me this?"

Hakkai looked at the man across from him, wondering if he was being told what Gojyo really felt or if there was something else behind those words.

"I told you, I don’t care. At least... not for tonight." He slowly reached out a hand and cupped Gojyo’s cheek, running his thumb over the scars there. "Maybe... maybe I just don’t want to lose you too. You said that when your mother gave you these, you didn’t even try to defend yourself because if your death would stop her tears, it was worth it. Maybe I’m telling you this so that the next time you decide that dying is your best option, you know I’ll weep because of it."

Gojyo took in Hakkai’s words, looking as if he were thinking deeply. Then, to the other man’s relief, the half-breed smiled, "I don’t think you have to worry about that. Don’t you know? I’m harder to kill than a cat."

Hakkai chuckled, "And you swim about as well."

Gojyo fished around blindly, then lit another cigarette- the last of his pack "But really, you’re telling me not to die because it’ll make you cry? That’s kinda pathetic, like something the monkey might say to that pervert monk."

Hakkai pressed his lips together in thought, though he hated to break the precious, easy mood they’d fallen into. "It’s because I have nothing else to fight with. I have nothing else to give you but my tears."

Gojyo took his time in answering, stareing out the window at where the sky was beginning to brighten. "You know, there is one more thing you could offer me." His wolfish grin and a lingering glance over Hakkai’s body told exactly what that thing was.

"Well, we do have about an hour before sunrise..." Hakkai pulled the cigarette out of his lover’s mouth and put it out in the bedside ashtray.

"You’re right. That isn’t nearly enough time, we should just go back to bed and catch up on our beauty sle..."

A brief, amused meeting of lips interrupted his boasting. Then the time passed quickly. Kisses that tasted like tobacco and a flavor that was solely Gojyo. Gentle hands that never seemed to treat him like a woman, but also never as roughly as you’d think the half-breed would handle a man. As Gojyo settled between his legs, he moved powerfully in him but with care. In fact, Hakkai couldn’t believe he’d never seen the emotion with which Gojyo made love to him. The fact that his lover cared deeply for him was evident in every motion and gesture.

The full light of sunrise found them in each other’s arms. Gojyo was dozing lightly and Hakkai stared at the ceiling, smiling. Kanan, please understand. I can’t undo the past and I can’t bring you back. But I love Gojyo as well, and I can’t keep living with your ghost tied to my heart or I’ll lose him too. Please forgive me, Kanan

Somewhere, in a place that was full of love and light and laughter, a woman watched the two lovers with a smile on her face. Of course, Gonou. Of course

The End.