(no subject)

[vaccinemachine]

Ryan came to visit today, he's gonna leave in the morning. It was a busy day but fun. I told him for some reason that I'm an alcoholic. Whyyyyy did I tell him that? He didn't need to know that. I don't think he's gonna tell mom or dad or anything. I just feel weird about it. I feel weird about everything.

I feel like I only ever cause suffering. I wish I could erase part of my memory. I wish I could do things over. I feel so full of regret and shame.