(no subject)
I decided to start writing a livejournal dictionary
Bisexuality: The sexual orientation whereby one feels attracted to members of both sexes. Or, alternatively, the sexuality whereby one shifts another chick in the corner of a club in the hope of giving the guys horn (cos we all know how the blokes love a hot dyke) and therefore getting them to do you. One common lesser breed of bisexuality is the 'I wrote that in a livejournal meme so it must be true!' species.
Depression: I don’t claim to entirely understand what depression is, but I sure as hell know what it isn’t. If you have a boring job, or are desperately searching for the love of your life, or had a bad Christmas, or haven’t arsed yourself to study so (shock horror) are failing your course, that isn’t depression. That’s called being sad. Everyone is sad sometimes, when bad things happen it makes you feel bad, see how that works? It doesn’t need medication; it doesn’t need counselling. Its called life. Deal.
Eating disorder (see also anorexia/bulimia): Eating a whole pie is not an eating disorder. Eating salad on Tuesdays is not an eating disorder. Living off chips means you’re a greedy sod, you do not deserve sympathy, you deserve lettuce. If you want to lose weight so badly it’s all you can ever talk about then here’s an idea - stop inhaling cake.
Insomnia: Yes its 1.30 am and you’ve been trying to get to sleep for a full hour. And of course you feel the need to share this with the world, I understand that, and I feel your pain. This, however, is not fucking insomnia, it happens to everyone, all the time. Read a fecking book, have a bath, go for a jog, but please SHUT THE HELL UP.
Migraine: In the world of livejournal every cold is flu, every headache is a migraine, every twinge is leprosy.
Writer: Having a blog/writing fanfic/being possessed of a livejournal does not an author make. Doesn’t matter how funny/well thought out it is. The line I’m a writer, you should see my livejournal isn’t going to impress anyone. Unless you’re using the word livejournal as a euphemism for cock. In which case it’d better be a good 8 inches or you can forget it.