(no subject)
Today was sort of depressing. Im not really sure how to feel about myself lately. Like, I get compliments from my friends and stuff, but I think theyre just doing it to be nice. I think it's time to tell my best friends that I really love them and they mean alot to me. I need to say it, and they need to hear it. If I didnt have them, I probably wouldnt be here right now. I miss love. Im starting to think it was all a dream and maybe I was imagining it. I dont ever see myself being happy really. I just see myself looking for perfection, knowing i'll never find it, and living as a bachelor my whole life. I cant seem to find someone and just be happy with them.
We went out for teriyaki tonight. Some guy stared at me for like 239418093581043 hours. Then on the way out, he called me a "fag". And I, being the mature person that I am, ignored it, even though I wanted to stab him in the face and beat him to nothing. Thanks for the consideration and open mindedness people. I APPRECIATE IT.
I've given up on trying to make myself happy, I think from now on I'm going to focus on doing things for other people and not worry so much about me. Other people are worse off than I am, and they need me. I feel good when I help someone else out before myself. Its nce to feel good about something.