my life
so yesterday i needed to take an edge off. so i got drunk and now i've had stomach ache and headache all day. its all self-inflicted
ive had a tough couple of weeks. i came really close to suicide. i'd finally got to the point in my mind where i was alright about it and i was really looking forward to death. whatever that was going to be
i was excited about any possible journey and i was exicited about not existing at all. anything to get away from here
i'd like to be able to say that i had epiphany and that life was beautiful but that didnt happen at all. truth is i just got scared by the time i got there
i've known life is isnt worth living for sometime. well, that its not worth living just for livings sake. last year i tried to transform that meaninglessness into something positive in my mind and just go on adventures. it helped cure the crippling anxiety i'd been experiencing for about 5 years. i wasnt afraid and i sometimes felt light but i never felt happy and i still dont.
i feel sad, tired and old.
fear, sadness, happiness. what does it all mean? well who cares he says as the tears welled in his eyes