Laying "eggs"
After a night of drinking, Brian crept into bed beside his wife who
was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and quickly fell asleep.
Suddenly, he awoke to find a strange man standing at the end of his bed
wearing a long flowing white robe.
"Who the hell are you," demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my
bedroom?"
The mysterious man answered, "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St. Peter."
Brian was stunned. "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much
to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send
me back straight away!"
St. Peter replied, "Sure, you can be reincarnated, but there is a catch.
We can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
Brian was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
house, he asked to be sent back as a hen.
A blinding flash of light later, he was covered in feathers and clucking around,
pecking the ground.
"This ain't so bad," he thought, until he felt this strange feeling
welling up inside him.
The farmyard rooster strolled over and said, "So, you're the new hen.
How are you enjoying your first day here?"
"It's not so bad," replied Brian, "but I have this strange feeling
inside like I'm about to explode."
"You're ovulating," explained the rooster. "Don't tell me you've never
laid an egg before?"
"Never!" gasped Brian.
"Well, just relax and let it happen," the rooster offered.
And so Brian did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg popped
out from under his tail.
An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his emotions got the
better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first time.
When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming
and he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that had
happened to him...ever!!!
The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he
felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting,
"Brian, wake your drunk ass up.... you're shitting in the bed!!"