"I Am Not My Hair"
Click to viewSo yeah, there you go. I cut my hair. I guess now you can understand why I asked for scarves and not just winter scarves on my wish list. I also have a picture of when I did my first "big chop" nearly 7 years ago:
This was my 21st birthday when I told my family I was going to "get my hair done" and came back with this. I still had a lot of length because I transitioned for a while before I cut it. I don't have very many pictures of me with my hair long because of my phobia of cameras, but here's one from 2005 which was 2 years before I cut it.
Even though it's braided, you can see that it was pretty long. I never really kept it longer than that because I already looked young and I looked even younger with long hair. I always got carded for anything, even rated-R movies (where you have to be 17 to get into) so shoulder length was around what I wanted. It's funny because when I showed my mom my new hair, she said I finally look my age. Maybe that's a good thing. Don't always want to look like jailbait.
Anyways, back to the video. In regards to women (or anyone for that matter) placing their identity in their hair: this topic really hit a spot with me. There's tons of things I could really add about this, but that would require getting really personal, which I'm not going to do on a public post. I will say that my friend and coworker, Sanna (go check out her blog, in Finnish and English) really gave me that kick in the butt I needed to do what I needed to do. There's always that quickening of your breath, the pounding of your heart and the shaking of your hands when you make those first few snips and I'm no exception, but the feeling afterwards (after the wtf did I just do feeling) is really something. Not to mention the physical feeling of having no hair. My scalp was sensitive to every little change in temperature, wind and it was really something when I washed it for the first time.
One thing I wanted to talk about in addition to the essential oils: I really, highly recommend that everyone (no matter your race or ethnicity) do an oil treatment. They do wonders for your hair, and if you're not black, you can choose an oil blend that's really light like almond, pepermint and rosemary. But if you want to see the quality of your hair improve, give it a shot. You wet your hair, then add the oil (not to drench but enough to get to the hair folicle) sit under a drier if you have one, or then put a plastic cap and a towel on for your own body heat to activate the oil, then rinse it off and wash your hair as normal. Always do an oil treatment before you wash your hair. I recommend keeping the oil on for at least half an hour.
Another thing I wanted to touch on, but decided not to in the video (for the sake of time) was the liberties people seem to take with my person. I can even count the number of people who have just rubbed my head without asking me if they could. Why would I want someone to touch my actual head (with skin there) when I didn't want people to touch my fro, which was pretty far enough away from my actual head? I have no idea where your hands have been, what other things you've been touching, and for you to put your hands on me when I've mentioned that I had problems with sores on my scalp really sets me on edge and grinds my gears. I had to be pretty mean to some people who I would call a friend because they took those liberties. Maybe they got offended, maybe they were surprised at the tone and volume of my voice when I asked them kindly take their hands off of my head. I really don't understand where people get off touching other people without getting permission. I could rant about this for hours (which is why I didn't put it in the video), but I'll spare most of my opinions. Though it kills me to bite my tongue, or stop my fingers since I'm typing. Occasionally, it is nice when Eero (washes his hands first) comes over and rubs my head. I suppose that's his way of showing me his support of my decision.
Lastly, I think I touched on this in the video, but people more and more have been telling me that I look sooooo much like my daddy. Well, he and I always knew this fact, but I guess people paid more attention to my hair as opposed to my face because I am and always have been a carbon copy of my dad. I suppose it's much more noticeable now.
What say y'all??
Finally, I'm going to leave with this video, pretty much sums up everythang!
PS: I'll be updating about the trip sooner or later. Not that anyone gives a flying fuck.