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Welcome to 4 A.M.
Where almost nothing ever happens and the universe sits mostly still, where indie music is life and where photography is heaven. Where silence is golden and life is absolute. Where we all wish to be, and where only a select few of us can go and handle it.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Where we lie in limbo, waiting for the sun to come up, the moon to go down, the median between life and whats left of the dark decay of lifelessness. Where Your eyes open wide, where your thoughts wander into the void of the infinite. Where we wait to see the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Welcome to the dead, the living, the mourning, the crying, the sad, the happy, the over energetic, the under enthusiastic, the over enthusiastic, the insomniac, the insane, the beautiful, the quiet, the peaceful, the thoughtless and thoughtful, the kind, the caring, the listeners, the wonderful and magnificent, the open minded and wide eyed sleepless.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Where we wander, searching for answers in our sleep. Where we wait for contact and a view into what we think is the future, and where here, we wait for the future. Where we sleep only to be dreaming of our answers we are searching for and never getting the full answer to questions like-
"Who am I?"
"What am I?"
"Who do I love?"
"Who loves me?"
"Why am I here?"
"What awaits me today?"
"Who thinks of me?"
"Who are my friends?"
"Who are my foes?"
"Who are the friendless?"
"Who am I to judge someone?"
"Who are they to judge me?"
"What is left for there to question if I already know the answers to my questions?"
This is what we ask, and wait for...
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Where our mindless infinite, grows! To be ever infinite into the oblivion of exaggerated proportions and ridiculous time! Where everything meets the beginning, the middle and the end. Where life dies, starts, and lives once more for us as humanity to enjoy through one more day, for us to catch our breath, and to breathe the dead and living. For our eyes to capture the very beauty of life through blinking as if our eyes where the lens to a camera and our brains the film to it.
All in one quiet, peaceful, beautiful, and insane, hour. Everything lives, dies, and starts over again.
Welcome to the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Welcome to life.
Good morning.
-Nicholas Alexander Harris
4am isn't really all that this quote makes it out to be. Do I sit here again, night after night after night thinking about these things? Not really. I'm thinking 'I wish I could effin sleep right about now' especially if I have work. 4am is definitely nothingness, which is nice, it's neither morning nor night, it's this strange in-between and maybe because of that, when I wake up, nearly every night at 4am like clockwork, 4am has become somewhat of bête noire to me.
Two years. It's been two years since I've been able to sleep properly. It's not nice at all, I tell you. Not. At. All. That's not to say I always get 3 hours of sleep. But on a weekly average it's about that. Some nights I get 1 hour, some nights I can't sleep at all, and some nights I manage to get 5 or even 6 hours, which is like a miracle from God. Melatonin is like a sugar pill, I've been looking at L-tryptophan because I'm wanting to stay in the natural sleep remedies, but it's a trying process. I've had some Rxs and all have left me with a serious hangover effect the next day, and working as a hematology nurse giving chemotherapy, the last thing I need is to be making medical calculation mistakes because I'm still groggy 5 hours after I've woken up.
So what to do when it's 4am? I replay tracks over and over, I blog, I read other blogs (especially about food and natural hair), I read books (and manga), I catch up on my K-drama, I pray.
I thank God for mercy, I thank God for sustaining me. Though I cannot lie and say that I don't feel angry or bitter sometimes as to why I've been suffering for so long. Why would He sustain me, but not heal me? These are the questions I think about at 4am.
But now it's 5am, so I suppose all this was for naught DX (Then again....)
Where almost nothing ever happens and the universe sits mostly still, where indie music is life and where photography is heaven. Where silence is golden and life is absolute. Where we all wish to be, and where only a select few of us can go and handle it.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Where we lie in limbo, waiting for the sun to come up, the moon to go down, the median between life and whats left of the dark decay of lifelessness. Where Your eyes open wide, where your thoughts wander into the void of the infinite. Where we wait to see the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Welcome to the dead, the living, the mourning, the crying, the sad, the happy, the over energetic, the under enthusiastic, the over enthusiastic, the insomniac, the insane, the beautiful, the quiet, the peaceful, the thoughtless and thoughtful, the kind, the caring, the listeners, the wonderful and magnificent, the open minded and wide eyed sleepless.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Where we wander, searching for answers in our sleep. Where we wait for contact and a view into what we think is the future, and where here, we wait for the future. Where we sleep only to be dreaming of our answers we are searching for and never getting the full answer to questions like-
"Who am I?"
"What am I?"
"Who do I love?"
"Who loves me?"
"Why am I here?"
"What awaits me today?"
"Who thinks of me?"
"Who are my friends?"
"Who are my foes?"
"Who are the friendless?"
"Who am I to judge someone?"
"Who are they to judge me?"
"What is left for there to question if I already know the answers to my questions?"
This is what we ask, and wait for...
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Where our mindless infinite, grows! To be ever infinite into the oblivion of exaggerated proportions and ridiculous time! Where everything meets the beginning, the middle and the end. Where life dies, starts, and lives once more for us as humanity to enjoy through one more day, for us to catch our breath, and to breathe the dead and living. For our eyes to capture the very beauty of life through blinking as if our eyes where the lens to a camera and our brains the film to it.
All in one quiet, peaceful, beautiful, and insane, hour. Everything lives, dies, and starts over again.
Welcome to the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Welcome to 4 A.M.
Welcome to life.
Good morning.
-Nicholas Alexander Harris
4am isn't really all that this quote makes it out to be. Do I sit here again, night after night after night thinking about these things? Not really. I'm thinking 'I wish I could effin sleep right about now' especially if I have work. 4am is definitely nothingness, which is nice, it's neither morning nor night, it's this strange in-between and maybe because of that, when I wake up, nearly every night at 4am like clockwork, 4am has become somewhat of bête noire to me.
Two years. It's been two years since I've been able to sleep properly. It's not nice at all, I tell you. Not. At. All. That's not to say I always get 3 hours of sleep. But on a weekly average it's about that. Some nights I get 1 hour, some nights I can't sleep at all, and some nights I manage to get 5 or even 6 hours, which is like a miracle from God. Melatonin is like a sugar pill, I've been looking at L-tryptophan because I'm wanting to stay in the natural sleep remedies, but it's a trying process. I've had some Rxs and all have left me with a serious hangover effect the next day, and working as a hematology nurse giving chemotherapy, the last thing I need is to be making medical calculation mistakes because I'm still groggy 5 hours after I've woken up.
So what to do when it's 4am? I replay tracks over and over, I blog, I read other blogs (especially about food and natural hair), I read books (and manga), I catch up on my K-drama, I pray.
I thank God for mercy, I thank God for sustaining me. Though I cannot lie and say that I don't feel angry or bitter sometimes as to why I've been suffering for so long. Why would He sustain me, but not heal me? These are the questions I think about at 4am.
But now it's 5am, so I suppose all this was for naught DX (Then again....)