Weird rant... thing...
Alrighty then. I feel the need to rant so I shall... then I'm gonna take a nap... a Looong ass nap.
Lately I've been getting way too many headaches and it's really starting to piss me off. I'm always tired no matter what time it is and I don't know why. I can't go to bed at night because I'm a fucking baby and can't stand to be in the dark alone. I don't know what the hell that is. I do know that it's half the reason I had to quit school.
For the most part I've really just wanted to be alone lately too. Maybe hang out with Val and Ben sometimes, but I really just don't want to deal with people. And it's not that I don't like people, it's just that I guess I like them from a distance. It's like humanity is the ugliest thing ever half the time so I don't want to be anywhere near it and the other half of the time it's so beautiful that I don't feel like I should touch it. Weird.
Well, at least it's fall. Fall is my favorite time of year. It's cool and I just love it. Not to be gothic, but it's like seeing the world die, but with beauty and dignity and the promise of rebirth. I wish I could die like a leaf. But no, I have to be human and shrivel up and die and then turn into a streched out sack of fluid and mush.
Most of the time now I still have trouble falling asleep. It's like my bodies tired but my mind is on speed. I bet a lot of people know that story. I wonder if it's just weird people who have a hard time sleeping or if it's really just everyone.
I wonder if people would think I was weird if I just went out and collapsed in my front yard? I bet I could sleep there... cause it's fall and I love fall.
Keeping up with the news is harder than it should be. There's just to much crap in the world. Iraq, elections, Darfur, Isreal, and piles of shit all over Asia. Piles of shit all over everywhere really. And they really never do put anything good in the news. I bet I could go and feed half the starving children in Afica and not even make the six'o clock news. Unless I did it in some record time or got killed. If I got killed it'd be everywhere. "Good Sameritan gets killed in Africa while feeding the children. Tune in for the full story at 11." Well to bad I wouldn't be there to know it was ever recognised. The people who still do good things must be truely good people to do the things they do and never get anything except for graitude in return.
I was thinking today and decided that I'm even more glad I didn't lose someone in 9/11 than in any other way just because then I'd have it rubbed in my face every day for 4 years. The government really needs to let that fade away gracefully. Something like that shouldn't be used as publicity.
Eh.. well I'm done... for now at least.
Lately I've been getting way too many headaches and it's really starting to piss me off. I'm always tired no matter what time it is and I don't know why. I can't go to bed at night because I'm a fucking baby and can't stand to be in the dark alone. I don't know what the hell that is. I do know that it's half the reason I had to quit school.
For the most part I've really just wanted to be alone lately too. Maybe hang out with Val and Ben sometimes, but I really just don't want to deal with people. And it's not that I don't like people, it's just that I guess I like them from a distance. It's like humanity is the ugliest thing ever half the time so I don't want to be anywhere near it and the other half of the time it's so beautiful that I don't feel like I should touch it. Weird.
Well, at least it's fall. Fall is my favorite time of year. It's cool and I just love it. Not to be gothic, but it's like seeing the world die, but with beauty and dignity and the promise of rebirth. I wish I could die like a leaf. But no, I have to be human and shrivel up and die and then turn into a streched out sack of fluid and mush.
Most of the time now I still have trouble falling asleep. It's like my bodies tired but my mind is on speed. I bet a lot of people know that story. I wonder if it's just weird people who have a hard time sleeping or if it's really just everyone.
I wonder if people would think I was weird if I just went out and collapsed in my front yard? I bet I could sleep there... cause it's fall and I love fall.
Keeping up with the news is harder than it should be. There's just to much crap in the world. Iraq, elections, Darfur, Isreal, and piles of shit all over Asia. Piles of shit all over everywhere really. And they really never do put anything good in the news. I bet I could go and feed half the starving children in Afica and not even make the six'o clock news. Unless I did it in some record time or got killed. If I got killed it'd be everywhere. "Good Sameritan gets killed in Africa while feeding the children. Tune in for the full story at 11." Well to bad I wouldn't be there to know it was ever recognised. The people who still do good things must be truely good people to do the things they do and never get anything except for graitude in return.
I was thinking today and decided that I'm even more glad I didn't lose someone in 9/11 than in any other way just because then I'd have it rubbed in my face every day for 4 years. The government really needs to let that fade away gracefully. Something like that shouldn't be used as publicity.
Eh.. well I'm done... for now at least.