(no subject)
September 25, 2004. The absolute worst day of my life, by far, no questions asked.. my parents are completely cutting me off from every single person in fountain hills. including natalie and james and just everyone. ive spent the past like 5 hours just crying and trying to cpmpromise with my parents and my dad is willing to but my mom wont. i dont think that ive ever felt so distant from my mom and so close with my dad ever before in my life, and not because my dad is sorta kinda on my side, but that hes willing to make the best of both worlds; whereas my mom just wants to draw the line without giving me a chance to change or a chance of compromise. this parenting seminar thing they went to today was what i must say a bad thing. my parents were never thinking about completely cutting me off from ppl down there until today. ive taken the time out to stop the crying and i right now has been the first time that i have been able to pull myself together, but idk how long this will last.. if i do ever get to see ppl down there again i will have strict rules about how many times i can see them. ((james i know that you said that you wont let my parents ruin us, but i wont hold you accountable if you want to back out now....i know that this is a way bigger responsibilty than you could have ever dreamed of when we got into this relationship)) all i can do is hope that my mom will at least be willing to compromise. i can honestly say that i wish i could run to my mom or at least talk to her. i wish she was someone i could count on, but its seems to be getting even harder to just stand her.
Nat/James:: i SWEAR that i will try my hardest to get through this time, but i dont know if i can promise what i did.. i dont even know how to say how much you two mean to me...but without you i dont know how i will be able to get through this life. esp. nat ((no offense james =/)) b/c she has been my best friend for the past 2 years and helped me through more than i could have ever asked for.. iknow ill be talking to you guys individually so thats all i think im going to put in here.
i cant believe that im fucking calm about this right now.. normally i would be having the biggest melt down. and here my mom is saying that im so immature, if she knew me like she said she does, then she would see that im improving.. maybe not by much, but im willing to change my entire life to keep these people in it, and to better the way things are.
Nat/James:: i SWEAR that i will try my hardest to get through this time, but i dont know if i can promise what i did.. i dont even know how to say how much you two mean to me...but without you i dont know how i will be able to get through this life. esp. nat ((no offense james =/)) b/c she has been my best friend for the past 2 years and helped me through more than i could have ever asked for.. iknow ill be talking to you guys individually so thats all i think im going to put in here.
i cant believe that im fucking calm about this right now.. normally i would be having the biggest melt down. and here my mom is saying that im so immature, if she knew me like she said she does, then she would see that im improving.. maybe not by much, but im willing to change my entire life to keep these people in it, and to better the way things are.