(no subject)
I feel a million miles away from anything I've ever known, or loved, or had, or needed. Rain is fun, but only when you have someone to share it with. I can't stand being in a house by myself, and it's especially hard when it's raining outside. I'm claustrophobic, and right now I feel trapped. Rain means winter is coming. Which means Christmas is coming. Which means my birthday is coming. I'm not excited about any of those. Not any more. I'm the type of person that needs something good to look forward to, otherwise I just feel lost. I can't seem to find anything good to look forward to lately. It's all going downhill. I don't even have anything to do for halloween. The one holiday that you can do almost anything you want and nobody cares, I'll probably be sitting at home by myself.
My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I used to live in a 5 bedroom 3 bath two story house, with my rose garden outside my window. I was pre-accepted into UC Davis' Vet Med program. I never even applied, they just wanted me that badly. The worst thing I used to worry about was when I was going to get my license. Now I have to worry about how much longer I'll be around. No, I'm not being dramatic either. It's something that I can't bring myself to tell any of you. I haven't quite come to terms with it yet. But if I never get another chance to say it, I love you all.
My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I used to live in a 5 bedroom 3 bath two story house, with my rose garden outside my window. I was pre-accepted into UC Davis' Vet Med program. I never even applied, they just wanted me that badly. The worst thing I used to worry about was when I was going to get my license. Now I have to worry about how much longer I'll be around. No, I'm not being dramatic either. It's something that I can't bring myself to tell any of you. I haven't quite come to terms with it yet. But if I never get another chance to say it, I love you all.