Mind-fuck from Mom.

[uvula_fr_b4]

When I was in college, my mother repeatedly implored me to buy her some gay porn. Ideally she wanted hard core magazines, but she would've settled for some plain vanilla nudie mags, if she had to.

I turned down her request.

Finally, exasperated by her continued entreaties and her willful refusal to take a hint gracefully, I told her, "You're an adult; you can buy all the porn you want, whatever kind you want, whenever you want. Why don't you buy your own gay porn?"

She replied, in a coquettish voice that no son ever wants to hear his mother use, "Because I would be embarrassed."

I nearly yelled back, "How the hell do think I would feel?!"

After pausing for just a beat, she said, "Yes, but they would expect you to buy it."

Once I got over my initial shock, I said, "Mom, do you really want to find out how Mrs. Bates felt in her last minutes on Earth..?"

So. Ladies.

If you have a son, and want to totally skull-fuck him, that's a pretty good way to do it.

Just be mindful of the Bates' family dynamic.

Not to say the Hocheiser's family dynamic. (From Robert Klane's novel, not the movie based on it.)

Happy Mother's Day.