Making my own choices
I grew up a Unitarian Universalist. Being a fairly liberal do-your-own-thing kind of religious community, I did not learn an extraordinary amount of guilt through religious doctrine. I had my own internal sense of guilt and some of it may have come from my parents, but as I look back it seems that much of it was unnecessary. I had a healthy (I thought) fear of authority and I followed the rules, mostly, if I knew what they were. If I knowingly broke them I had a particular feeling of discomfort in my gut.
I have been living alone in my own house for about two years now and I am beginning to think about how I want things, the rules I want to follow. Most people have rules imposed upon them. You have your parent-imposed, religion-imposed, roommate-imposed, landlord-imposed, government-imposed…imposed, imposed, imposed. But how many people really think about the rules they follow or not?
So why are guilt and fear such important factors in decision making? Power struggles? A belief that we can’t make good decisions based on our value systems? Ok, I’ll grant you that some people can’t make good decisions based on their value systems. But extremists and those who would harm others excluded, really, if we’re honest with ourselves about our own actions and responsibilities, more people would make revolutionary decisions that make the world a better place.
I think entitlement is also a pretty major player. How do we decide whether we’re entitled to something? Am I deserving of something just because I’m white? Because I grew up middle class? Because I’m a woman? Does someone else deserve special treatment because they or their ancestors have been treated badly in the past? I don’t think it’s really ok to keep a running log to justify one’s actions. I did this and that, so I deserve the prize of getting away with something. I think the important things in making decisions are agreements and values. Simple. Direct. Flexible. I also think it is generally important to go out of one’s way to help people that need it, based on what you can do and what helps you learn about your fellow man.
There are several contradictory ideas in this statement I think. They’re about different trains of thought though, so I’ll leave it up for argument/discussion. An example of getting something done badly as a starting point!