(no subject)
I've been so anxious and manic lately. I've been drinking a lot lately. It's the only thing to stop my brain from bouncing around like a ping pong ball. Things will get better I'm sure. Some day I will feel the need not to kill my self. I'm trying rally hard. I just want her to be happy. I never really got jealous before but I feel jealous that we are not close anymore. It's whatever. I love her to death. I want her to be happy. I know that it won't be me. I hope she falls in love and gets married and has beautiful children some day. I want the best for her. I think to truly love someone you have to let them go. I think its about being selfless. For her I am selfless.