Amazing how so little has changed since this time last year. At home, all is the same; I'm the house gooseberry. Good job I'm meant to be going away soon, though to be honest, I'm not convinced that will be much better.
All situations are basically the same... being content with a situation when you are thinking of things like 'better' and 'worse' is impossible...
Let me make an analogy. Lets say your playing music, and your thinking "I want to sound good". Now you have to define what it means to sound good, and if you fail at this you think "I don't sound good."
The 'selfish' desire is what brings the ego into play- interpreting things....
Really its difficult to be subjective about music , ie what is better or worse, (in my opinion) ... everyone who plays music or even listens is partly responsible for what music is... are some peoples opinions more valid than others? Opinions are not facts... sounds good and sounds shit are in fact opinions. The only truth is just the word 'sounds'. Neither good nor bad, it just is.
I think this disassociation is helpful in life . . . because I don't really think there is anyway to be 'happy' as a general state..., and its easy to be bored as well as the more negative feelings... instead we must be content
It's all very well saying one should be content, but it is futile. Evidently I am not content and nor can I make myself. Everyone has ideas of how they want things to be and some people get closer to their ideals than others. With music, you can only strive for what you think sounds good.
Its futile to be content if your aiming for set things...
I know I've said exactly the same thing as you to other people a lot...
I don't mean you have to say I'm happy how I am.. nobody can make themselves content, unless they redefine it... which is something that I had to do... since spending years striving for goal orientated contentness I was constantly depressed... and its still my natural mood, but i mostly accept that because I am lucky enough to have made some good memories that help me through troubling times, and because i really love playing music... and when I'm doing that there is nothing else.... I'm not earning money right now but I'm not giving up, therefore success is guaranteed. If i've got a target the only thing that means i'll fail is if i stop aiming... its just a matter of time... and this is how it is.. its what i've got to do.. maybe its not content... maybe its accepting everything calmly...
but i dont think you arent calm. its difficult to explain ... but what i do know is we can never have things as we want... simply wanting something just means even if we do somehow get there we will just want more... we need to strive for more, whilst always being okay with how it is on the journey.. even standing still is okay if we face forward. I hope I'm right otherwise things are very bad!
If all I was doing with music was striving for what I thought sounded good, I would have killed myself a long time ago... because peaking would take 40 years, and then I'd probably not be satisfied.
Obviously we should constantly strive to improve, but if we're constantly unhappy with our state, we will constantly be unhappy...
Personally when I'm unhappy about a lack of progress in playing, I practice...
i don't care about 'sounding good'. when I did my playing sounded like shit. now its much better because i play to enjoy it, and i play with conviction rather than a self absorbed desire... playing because you want to sound good is an obvious reason to play music but its also a shit one.. that i dont think anyone who i would call great has.
I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries.
If you think its futile to try to be content, then what is the point of life? Have you really given up after coming so far? And though I say that your what...25... not exactly old tbh... you dont have to know what your doing with yourself yet..
All situations are basically the same... being content with a situation when you are thinking of things like 'better' and 'worse' is impossible...
Let me make an analogy. Lets say your playing music, and your thinking "I want to sound good". Now you have to define what it means to sound good, and if you fail at this you think "I don't sound good."
The 'selfish' desire is what brings the ego into play- interpreting things....
Really its difficult to be subjective about music , ie what is better or worse, (in my opinion) ... everyone who plays music or even listens is partly responsible for what music is... are some peoples opinions more valid than others? Opinions are not facts... sounds good and sounds shit are in fact opinions. The only truth is just the word 'sounds'. Neither good nor bad, it just is.
I think this disassociation is helpful in life . . . because I don't really think there is anyway to be 'happy' as a general state..., and its easy to be bored as well as the more negative feelings... instead we must be content
I can't explain it very well. Its Zen ideas...
Reply
Reply
I know I've said exactly the same thing as you to other people a lot...
I don't mean you have to say I'm happy how I am.. nobody can make themselves content, unless they redefine it... which is something that I had to do... since spending years striving for goal orientated contentness I was constantly depressed... and its still my natural mood, but i mostly accept that because I am lucky enough to have made some good memories that help me through troubling times, and because i really love playing music... and when I'm doing that there is nothing else.... I'm not earning money right now but I'm not giving up, therefore success is guaranteed. If i've got a target the only thing that means i'll fail is if i stop aiming... its just a matter of time... and this is how it is.. its what i've got to do.. maybe its not content... maybe its accepting everything calmly...
but i dont think you arent calm. its difficult to explain ... but what i do know is we can never have things as we want... simply wanting something just means even if we do somehow get there we will just want more... we need to strive for more, whilst always being okay with how it is on the journey.. even standing still is okay if we face forward. I hope I'm right otherwise things are very bad!
If all I was doing with music was striving for what I thought sounded good, I would have killed myself a long time ago... because peaking would take 40 years, and then I'd probably not be satisfied.
Obviously we should constantly strive to improve, but if we're constantly unhappy with our state, we will constantly be unhappy...
Personally when I'm unhappy about a lack of progress in playing, I practice...
i don't care about 'sounding good'. when I did my playing sounded like shit. now its much better because i play to enjoy it, and i play with conviction rather than a self absorbed desire... playing because you want to sound good is an obvious reason to play music but its also a shit one.. that i dont think anyone who i would call great has.
I hope I'm not overstepping my boundaries.
If you think its futile to try to be content, then what is the point of life? Have you really given up after coming so far? And though I say that your what...25... not exactly old tbh... you dont have to know what your doing with yourself yet..
Reply
Leave a comment