Narrative Pet Peeve
So, you know how sometimes your heroine will fall in love with a cad? A hustler, a deadbeat, a no-good, low-down playa? And you know how betrayed she feels when she finds out what we, the long-suffering audience, have known since episode/chapter two? She has several choices of how to behave, but generally, the reaction falls into two categories:
[Sister Cantrell preaches: "Spend until the last dime for all the hard times...Because revenge is better than love."]
or
[Sister Parton begs: "Please don't take him just because you can!"]
You know, I can't fully endorse maxing out your cheating boyfriend's credit cards, but it sure as hell beats begging the lady he's sleeping with to take pity on you.
Seriously, it is astonishing how much modern TV and fiction still has its heroines doing the Dolly Parton two-step instead of picking up their shit and telling the man to get out. How hard can this be? It isn't like your man cheated by accident. And yet, over and over, heroines are far more likely to blame and confront the women involved in an affair than their own significant other. I was just watching a television show I otherwise really enjoy, with an incredibly strong female lead (lady doctor in late Victorian London). I was honestly shocked when the huge cathartic confrontation scene involved her cad's new wife. And the cad? Oh, she doesn't blame him. It was her fault for being too distracted by doctoring.
[redacted]
Sorry, that was me screeching.
So, the next time you find yourself writing a juicy sexual drama, with betrayals and recriminations and the jagged remains of hearts littering the pavement, keep this in mind: the "Jolene" scenario is condescending and degrading to women. This is true even if she's gone over there to beat Jolene up, not beg her. It's infantilizing to always have women engage other women in antagonistic ways over their male partner's sexual peccadilloes, as though the central issue isn't the betrayal of the original partner by her significant other. The Other Woman is, at best, marginally involved. Leave her that way, and let your heroine vent her anger on the asshole that done her wrong.
Click to view[Sister Cantrell preaches: "Spend until the last dime for all the hard times...Because revenge is better than love."]
or
[Sister Parton begs: "Please don't take him just because you can!"]
You know, I can't fully endorse maxing out your cheating boyfriend's credit cards, but it sure as hell beats begging the lady he's sleeping with to take pity on you.
Seriously, it is astonishing how much modern TV and fiction still has its heroines doing the Dolly Parton two-step instead of picking up their shit and telling the man to get out. How hard can this be? It isn't like your man cheated by accident. And yet, over and over, heroines are far more likely to blame and confront the women involved in an affair than their own significant other. I was just watching a television show I otherwise really enjoy, with an incredibly strong female lead (lady doctor in late Victorian London). I was honestly shocked when the huge cathartic confrontation scene involved her cad's new wife. And the cad? Oh, she doesn't blame him. It was her fault for being too distracted by doctoring.
[redacted]
Sorry, that was me screeching.
So, the next time you find yourself writing a juicy sexual drama, with betrayals and recriminations and the jagged remains of hearts littering the pavement, keep this in mind: the "Jolene" scenario is condescending and degrading to women. This is true even if she's gone over there to beat Jolene up, not beg her. It's infantilizing to always have women engage other women in antagonistic ways over their male partner's sexual peccadilloes, as though the central issue isn't the betrayal of the original partner by her significant other. The Other Woman is, at best, marginally involved. Leave her that way, and let your heroine vent her anger on the asshole that done her wrong.