life update?
So the person I had been madly in love with for a little over 4 1/2 years finally started giving me every single thing I could ever ask for from him. annnnd I decide being with him doesn't feel right any longer. I don't understand how life can be so unfair and confusing .. but it is. A month ago I had wished this feeling would go away (so i tried to make it go away) and it just didn't. Can't really change feelings no matter how much you want it. Pretty lame if you ask me, but that's life. Now I'm actually embracing this new feeling into my life and I like it a lot. I'm learning new things with each day to come and just kind of flowing with life. not too much to worry about.
I may have made a mistake and maybe I should have stuck through it a little longer .. but if I did infact make a mistake I'll live with it. Life goes on, there are many paths you can take and I've just chosen to take a different one. I hope I don't loose a friend over this, I don't think I will in the end. Of course for a while I may .. the other day I learned I can't be there for someone who's heart I just wripped out. duh. I don't know what I was thinking, guess I wasn't.
Someone once told me you can still love someone and not be with them. She's totaly right, because of course I still love him. I just think it's time we go our seperate ways right now.
I knew a point would come where I would have to get over him, I'd start missing the good moments and things in him. I think that time is creeping in on me slowly, kind of hit me tonight. A few days ago I realized the thought of wanting to go our seperate ways (whether it be forever or for part our lives) has never faded. Eversince our first break up I wished we had been apart longer. So .. I've chosen to move on for now, try new things, get a taste of life on a different path. Like I said above, I don't have too much to worry about now, I feel very calm and collected, not pushed or forced. This is the right direction for me right now.
If anyone totaly disagree's with this and thinks i'm some kind of pshycho please don't be afraid to comment. I'd love to other peoples insights on what I'm doing .. probably won't change my mind but it's interesting to hear.
I may have made a mistake and maybe I should have stuck through it a little longer .. but if I did infact make a mistake I'll live with it. Life goes on, there are many paths you can take and I've just chosen to take a different one. I hope I don't loose a friend over this, I don't think I will in the end. Of course for a while I may .. the other day I learned I can't be there for someone who's heart I just wripped out. duh. I don't know what I was thinking, guess I wasn't.
Someone once told me you can still love someone and not be with them. She's totaly right, because of course I still love him. I just think it's time we go our seperate ways right now.
I knew a point would come where I would have to get over him, I'd start missing the good moments and things in him. I think that time is creeping in on me slowly, kind of hit me tonight. A few days ago I realized the thought of wanting to go our seperate ways (whether it be forever or for part our lives) has never faded. Eversince our first break up I wished we had been apart longer. So .. I've chosen to move on for now, try new things, get a taste of life on a different path. Like I said above, I don't have too much to worry about now, I feel very calm and collected, not pushed or forced. This is the right direction for me right now.
If anyone totaly disagree's with this and thinks i'm some kind of pshycho please don't be afraid to comment. I'd love to other peoples insights on what I'm doing .. probably won't change my mind but it's interesting to hear.