...All that I'm after is a life full of laughter, as long as I'm laughing with you...
... I'm thinking that all that still matters is love ever after, after the life we've been through. 'Cause I know there's no life after you.
I've come back here for the first time in months and went back to read everything I've written.
I'm overcome by the need to hug that girl who started writing somewhere in 2005. She used to be so sad, so lonely all the time. There were friends who didn't know how not to be selfish, boys who didn't understand how fragile she was under all that "I can do it like a brutha, do it like a dude" attitude, parents who were so worried about her they would only show it through anger. There were good days and bad days, highs and lows, tv shows and writing and music. This LJ has seen her kick bulimia, lose some of the people she loved the most, battle with depression, cramming for exams. Meeting Ivan and falling in love with him.
And underneath it all, there was me, a distinct and important part of me that I would only let the internet see, 'cause I really couldn't show anybody else. I needed a sandbox to play in, before going out into the world. When it finally happened, that's when I stopped needing livejournal.
I know LJ isn't thriving anymore, but I can't let go of it. Even if I won't write, or won't need it as much. Even if months, maybe years will pass between updates, I'll keep it up, pay my account, make sure it exists. I'd miss it if it wasn't there, like I'd miss that part of myself that had to "leave her words in the fabric of time".