Changes
So, I thought my life would be starting to calm down now that some of the stresses had been alleviated.
But, I guess I was wrong.
It was Anime Weekend Atlanta, the fact I had something to look forward to, and all the preparations I had been doing that made everything blur, and allowed me the breathing space and speed to escape the pain I should have been feeling. As AWA passed and everything slowed, it all finally caught up to me, and hit me like a sack of bricks.
Last night was one of those times.
Neko, Lori and I had free tickets to go see "The Duchess" with Kiera Knightley, but as we got there at 6:20 (I rushed home from work as I get off at 6, changed and we sped out there)--the seats were already filled, even though it was almost an hour and a half early. So, we decided to cut our losses and go see something else. What we decided on was the movie "Ghost Town".
The movie's premise is about growing to learn about yourself, love, living for others, and how discovering these things can change you. The main character is a dentist named Bertram Pincus, who is a rather large prick. He cares only for himself in all aspects. But, when he unexpectedly dies for 7 minutes before being revived due to a mishap with anethesia during a routine medical procedure, he gains the ability to see ghosts. And they all wish for his help. The story centers around one ghost, Frank Herlihy, who has recently died, and thinks the reason he's still on Earth is to save his widow, Gwen, from another bad marriage. And he enlists Pincus' help with this.
Throughout the course of the film, Bertram realizes about his life, and his now-growing love for Gwen--and things he needs to change. As one of the characters in the movie, Dr.Pincus' dental associate, Dr. Prashar calls him, "A fucking prick", after he shows him a poster of Einstein on his ceiling (for patients to see while they're reclined) that says "A life not lived for others is not worth living." Up to this point, Pincus has been avoiding the ghosts, and telling them to go away, because he doesn't wish to deal with them. But, after messing things up with Gwen, he decides to finally take a hard look at himself, helping all the ghosts in the process, each of them passing over as what they need done is met. After all this, Pincus tries to approach Gwen again, finally getting her to understand everything--and helping Frank cross over too, as he finds that it was not Frank that had something tying him to this world--it was Gwen not letting go of Frank that kept him here. And (as Pincus has gotten hit by a bus, a la Frank in the first scene of the movie, and they are working hard with CPR to revive him) when Gwen begins to cry over Pincus, Frank acknowledges that Gwen is crying for Pincus now, and has finally let go of him. Frank is able to move on. At the end, as Pincus has come out of it ok, he and Gwen reconcile:
"It hurts when I smile." "I can fix that."
At the end of all of it, Pincus is left a better person, a kinder person and a wiser person. It reminded me a lot of 'As Good as it Gets', but with ghosts. But, it made me think about other things that had happened in my life, and made me feel sad. I like to think I've changed, I like to think that the things that have happened to me over the course of my life have given me more insight, and a greater understanding.
But, then I think again, and wonder if I was wrong.
Would things have been different? I feel like I'm losing so much right now. I feel shut off from a group of my friends, who I wonder if actually remember me anyway. I feel so awkward about a lot of things---even small things, like playing World of Warcraft. I wonder if, after things that have happened recently, I'll want to play it anymore? And I know my guild doesn't remember me. I feel sick and sad, and a bit lonely. I know I have people who care, but for some reason, it still hurts so much, and I feel so vulnerable.
Have I not changed?
I would like to feel I have...I wish things could be more simple, and I could bounce back easier. But, I guess that's just not how I am.
Sorry for the downer post..There will be fanfiction later, god willing.
But, I guess I was wrong.
It was Anime Weekend Atlanta, the fact I had something to look forward to, and all the preparations I had been doing that made everything blur, and allowed me the breathing space and speed to escape the pain I should have been feeling. As AWA passed and everything slowed, it all finally caught up to me, and hit me like a sack of bricks.
Last night was one of those times.
Neko, Lori and I had free tickets to go see "The Duchess" with Kiera Knightley, but as we got there at 6:20 (I rushed home from work as I get off at 6, changed and we sped out there)--the seats were already filled, even though it was almost an hour and a half early. So, we decided to cut our losses and go see something else. What we decided on was the movie "Ghost Town".
The movie's premise is about growing to learn about yourself, love, living for others, and how discovering these things can change you. The main character is a dentist named Bertram Pincus, who is a rather large prick. He cares only for himself in all aspects. But, when he unexpectedly dies for 7 minutes before being revived due to a mishap with anethesia during a routine medical procedure, he gains the ability to see ghosts. And they all wish for his help. The story centers around one ghost, Frank Herlihy, who has recently died, and thinks the reason he's still on Earth is to save his widow, Gwen, from another bad marriage. And he enlists Pincus' help with this.
Throughout the course of the film, Bertram realizes about his life, and his now-growing love for Gwen--and things he needs to change. As one of the characters in the movie, Dr.Pincus' dental associate, Dr. Prashar calls him, "A fucking prick", after he shows him a poster of Einstein on his ceiling (for patients to see while they're reclined) that says "A life not lived for others is not worth living." Up to this point, Pincus has been avoiding the ghosts, and telling them to go away, because he doesn't wish to deal with them. But, after messing things up with Gwen, he decides to finally take a hard look at himself, helping all the ghosts in the process, each of them passing over as what they need done is met. After all this, Pincus tries to approach Gwen again, finally getting her to understand everything--and helping Frank cross over too, as he finds that it was not Frank that had something tying him to this world--it was Gwen not letting go of Frank that kept him here. And (as Pincus has gotten hit by a bus, a la Frank in the first scene of the movie, and they are working hard with CPR to revive him) when Gwen begins to cry over Pincus, Frank acknowledges that Gwen is crying for Pincus now, and has finally let go of him. Frank is able to move on. At the end, as Pincus has come out of it ok, he and Gwen reconcile:
"It hurts when I smile." "I can fix that."
At the end of all of it, Pincus is left a better person, a kinder person and a wiser person. It reminded me a lot of 'As Good as it Gets', but with ghosts. But, it made me think about other things that had happened in my life, and made me feel sad. I like to think I've changed, I like to think that the things that have happened to me over the course of my life have given me more insight, and a greater understanding.
But, then I think again, and wonder if I was wrong.
Would things have been different? I feel like I'm losing so much right now. I feel shut off from a group of my friends, who I wonder if actually remember me anyway. I feel so awkward about a lot of things---even small things, like playing World of Warcraft. I wonder if, after things that have happened recently, I'll want to play it anymore? And I know my guild doesn't remember me. I feel sick and sad, and a bit lonely. I know I have people who care, but for some reason, it still hurts so much, and I feel so vulnerable.
Have I not changed?
I would like to feel I have...I wish things could be more simple, and I could bounce back easier. But, I guess that's just not how I am.
Sorry for the downer post..There will be fanfiction later, god willing.