Motherfucker
So, I changed birth control in January because every time I got my period I would get mind-numbing, incapacitating migraines on the second day of my period. So my gyno was all "We'll put you on a pill with a shorter off-week so that the lack of hormones doesn't have time to give you a mind-numbing, incapacitating migraine. It's called Loestrin FE."
Awesome. Great. 4 day off-week is glorious and wonderful.
I run out of the samples she gave me this week, so I called my gyno and was all "I need an appointment to get my new prescription"
OB/GYN Office: She doesn't have any appointments open for the rest of the week, but I can connect to her nurse practitioner who might be able to help you.
At which point she connects me to the nurse's VOICE MAIL. I leave a detailed message and think "thanks a lot, jerks."
The nurse calls me back the next day: "Hi, this is so-and-so from your gyno's office, I left you a couple messages, I don't know if you got them..."
Uh, you left me one message, today, and I just got it since, you know, I just woke up.
Nurse: "Anyway, the Dr. is going to call in your prescription to a pharmacy, we just need a phone number of the pharmacy you go to."
Um, I've been to 4 pharmacies in the past year, but I'll give you the one I usually go to because it's closest.
Nurse: "Oh, I don't have a phone number for the Walgreen's at Midway, do you have it?"
Not right now, no. But I also go to the Walgreen's in Minnetonka, you could send it there.
So she does. Which is AWESOME because that's a 40 minute drive for me but, whatever, I'm desperate. I get to the pharmacy, get my pills, stop by to see my parents, get back to the dorm and open the package.
THEY ARE THE WRONG FUCKING PILLS.
The doctor's office is CLOSED.
I call the pharmacy:
Very nice pharmacist: Hi, how can I help you?
Um, yeah, I was just in this afternoon, and I got the wrong prescription. I was supposed to get Loestrin FE and you gave me Microgestin FE.
VNP: Oh, microgestin is the generic brand for Loestrin.
Uh-huh, okay, except that they're wrong. I need pills with a shorter off-week, these have a seven day off-week. I can't use them. They are completely different pills.
VNP: Oh, I'm sorry. That's the prescription your doctor gave us and we can't take them back.
[MOTHERFUCKER!]
VNP: and I bet tomorrow's your start-date, huh? Well, I would just start the new pills and get back to your doctor on Monday. You can call back then.
[MOTHERFUCKER!]
So not only do I have the wrong prescription, but I have the wrong prescription because my GYNOCOLOGIST doesn't have time to see me or speak with me and apparently has no idea WHY SHE CHANGED MY PRESCRIPTION IN THE FIRST PLACE (or is UNAWARE that the generic version is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the pills that I need). Plus, I just wasted a ton of gas, money, and THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE when I'm supposed to be writing my capstone so I can, you know, graduate.
So god damnit motherfucking FUCK!
And now that I've wasted my afternoon I'm gong to go cry. Really hard. For a long time.
Awesome. Great. 4 day off-week is glorious and wonderful.
I run out of the samples she gave me this week, so I called my gyno and was all "I need an appointment to get my new prescription"
OB/GYN Office: She doesn't have any appointments open for the rest of the week, but I can connect to her nurse practitioner who might be able to help you.
At which point she connects me to the nurse's VOICE MAIL. I leave a detailed message and think "thanks a lot, jerks."
The nurse calls me back the next day: "Hi, this is so-and-so from your gyno's office, I left you a couple messages, I don't know if you got them..."
Uh, you left me one message, today, and I just got it since, you know, I just woke up.
Nurse: "Anyway, the Dr. is going to call in your prescription to a pharmacy, we just need a phone number of the pharmacy you go to."
Um, I've been to 4 pharmacies in the past year, but I'll give you the one I usually go to because it's closest.
Nurse: "Oh, I don't have a phone number for the Walgreen's at Midway, do you have it?"
Not right now, no. But I also go to the Walgreen's in Minnetonka, you could send it there.
So she does. Which is AWESOME because that's a 40 minute drive for me but, whatever, I'm desperate. I get to the pharmacy, get my pills, stop by to see my parents, get back to the dorm and open the package.
THEY ARE THE WRONG FUCKING PILLS.
The doctor's office is CLOSED.
I call the pharmacy:
Very nice pharmacist: Hi, how can I help you?
Um, yeah, I was just in this afternoon, and I got the wrong prescription. I was supposed to get Loestrin FE and you gave me Microgestin FE.
VNP: Oh, microgestin is the generic brand for Loestrin.
Uh-huh, okay, except that they're wrong. I need pills with a shorter off-week, these have a seven day off-week. I can't use them. They are completely different pills.
VNP: Oh, I'm sorry. That's the prescription your doctor gave us and we can't take them back.
[MOTHERFUCKER!]
VNP: and I bet tomorrow's your start-date, huh? Well, I would just start the new pills and get back to your doctor on Monday. You can call back then.
[MOTHERFUCKER!]
So not only do I have the wrong prescription, but I have the wrong prescription because my GYNOCOLOGIST doesn't have time to see me or speak with me and apparently has no idea WHY SHE CHANGED MY PRESCRIPTION IN THE FIRST PLACE (or is UNAWARE that the generic version is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from the pills that I need). Plus, I just wasted a ton of gas, money, and THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE when I'm supposed to be writing my capstone so I can, you know, graduate.
So god damnit motherfucking FUCK!
And now that I've wasted my afternoon I'm gong to go cry. Really hard. For a long time.