6 months.
one thing goes wrong and then here i am sitting in the middle of a shitty day.
sometimes i really dont think that there is much for me out there. i struggle to find a place where im happy. i waste my money for the stupidest reasons. i stress myself by wanting more from a family that i cant have. i torture myself by letting the memories get to me. about everything. i sit and consume myself with sadness and wonder, and it leads me no where. at the end of the day i can count a million things that went wrong, almost everyday, and then count 3 things that went great. life is a struggle and sometimes i really do just wanna give up. iv dug a hole, dont know how to get out, but i will try. i have nothing to give me hope, i have no one to get answers from, i have nothing to make me feel better, but, i always think im positive that i will in the end, get what i want from you, and him, and her. but, honestly, who am i kidding?
if only i could sit with you, explain everything.
maybe then you would get it.
if only i could be next to you listening to your reasons.
maybe then i would get it.
if only i could collapse and wake up with no recollection of you
i wouldnt hurt so much
if only i wouldnt believe in love and forgiveness.
i would be a completly different person
if only i didnt hate myself everyday for this.
i would love life more.
if only i could cry and you finally realize that your ways dont just effect you.
they break my heart.
if only i could be the person you wish i would be.
maybe you would come around?
if only i found the things that would make you care about me.
then we could talk again.
if only i could talk to you one more time,
i would tell you i do love you.
and you hurt me so much.
p.s i could be that.
sometimes i really dont think that there is much for me out there. i struggle to find a place where im happy. i waste my money for the stupidest reasons. i stress myself by wanting more from a family that i cant have. i torture myself by letting the memories get to me. about everything. i sit and consume myself with sadness and wonder, and it leads me no where. at the end of the day i can count a million things that went wrong, almost everyday, and then count 3 things that went great. life is a struggle and sometimes i really do just wanna give up. iv dug a hole, dont know how to get out, but i will try. i have nothing to give me hope, i have no one to get answers from, i have nothing to make me feel better, but, i always think im positive that i will in the end, get what i want from you, and him, and her. but, honestly, who am i kidding?
if only i could sit with you, explain everything.
maybe then you would get it.
if only i could be next to you listening to your reasons.
maybe then i would get it.
if only i could collapse and wake up with no recollection of you
i wouldnt hurt so much
if only i wouldnt believe in love and forgiveness.
i would be a completly different person
if only i didnt hate myself everyday for this.
i would love life more.
if only i could cry and you finally realize that your ways dont just effect you.
they break my heart.
if only i could be the person you wish i would be.
maybe you would come around?
if only i found the things that would make you care about me.
then we could talk again.
if only i could talk to you one more time,
i would tell you i do love you.
and you hurt me so much.
p.s i could be that.