Fic: Unreal yet somehow ending
Title: Unreal yet somehow ending.
Author: sparxxa
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Pairing: Stackhouse/Markham (implied)
Warning: Slash
Rating: PG/12ish
Notes: Written for spook-me Halloween 2008 challenge using the prompts: Ghost(s), Brides of Blood, Scream and Scream Again.
I may not have managed to write horror this time around but I did get all three prompts in!
Thanks: To fififolle for offering to be my beta, I'm sorry I didn't finish it in time! And to my work colleagues for their support.
Notes 2: Set season 5ish. Stackhouse's point of view. Happy Halloween!
I don’t know what’s happening to me.
This isn’t right; even for this place. We all knew from the start that ‘normal’ was no longer a relative or a relevant term, just an extinct one, but this…this shouldn’t be happening….or maybe it should; maybe I should just accept it as a sign of what’s to come.
I can’t remember when it started exactly. I should, I know I should but memories blur and things keep shifting; nothing ever makes sense. It wasn’t long after he died though…Jamie…God, even four years later the memory of that day still hurts more than I’ll ever admit to anyone but myself. It wasn’t long after he died that…I know this’ll sound crazy…I started seeing him, in Atlantis; he was just there. He shouldn’t have been there though, I know that, and at the start I told myself that I was just grieving, mistaking glimpses of someone else for him, the more often it happened though the less I believed in it just being grief.
Maybe I was going crazy, maybe I still am but every now and then there he was, looking the same as ever, except maybe sadder; wistful like. He’d just appear: standing behind Kagan as he, Kemp and Crosby started debating stupid things like: if they put together one of those crap sixties ‘B’ Movies, featuring a Wraith and his ‘Brides of Blood’ should the Wraith be called Gareth or Garry?; or during a crisis, if Doctors Zelenka and McKay got into yet another argument and Zelenka came up with a good come-back for McKay, such as the time he said that he didn’t need to scream and scream again before fixing the problem because he could fix it without the screaming and drama that McKay usually included in one of his last minute rescue ideas, Jamie would just smirk, shake his head and disappear again. It was all too weird to be real.
I thought it was just my imagination, I even considered going to see Heightmeyer before she…well, before she died too….though what could I have said? It’s not as if I’d be allowed to continue being here in Atlantis if I told anyone that I was seeing the ghost of my dead, whatever we were, everywhere I turned.
At first it wasn’t too bad. Seeing his ghost, or whatever my mind was conjuring up, hurt but it was so intermittent, seeing him, that it didn’t really bother me that much. Now though, and for some time now, I’ve been seeing him every single day, everywhere I go. He used to keep his distance too but now…now it seems he’s edging closer, looking at me with eyes so sad, when all I can remember them being was full of life and laughter. I think…I think maybe my time here is coming to an end. Call me morbid, call me insane, but it’s not just Jamie that I can see anymore.
Suddenly I can see people that I know for a fact have died since we arrived here in Atlantis five years ago, and they are just moving around the city, normal as anything; except I’m the only one that can see them….just like Jamie swore he could see Doctor Abrahms weeks after the Doctor had been killed…and only days before Jamie himself died.
Maybe I’m delusional, I really don’t know, but if I am going to die soon then…then I think its ok. It’s a comfort to know that even though they’ve died, their ghosts, spirits, whatever, are still watching over this place and if I do die then at least I’ll be able to see Jamie again…
It’s ok…. It’s all ok….