Title: One Moment
Pairing: Hakua Ryouga/Sanjou Yukito
Rating: PG
Taking a deep breath to brace himself, Ryouga Hakua took a step forward and entered the holosuite, unsure of both his reception and the scene he’d find in there. It wasn’t usual for Yukito to miss dinner with himself and Mai, at least without letting them know he wouldn’t be there. Of course, sometimes things came up and sick bay could be a very hectic place. Except that Yukito was a physiotherapist, not a doctor, so unexpected emergencies were rare. After waiting as long as he dared, Ryouga had set out dinner for two, leaving the third serving in the tiny kitchen, just in case.
Yukito had never arrived, though, and as Mai had been invited to spend the night at a friend’s - something that gave Ryouga hope that the two of them were starting to make a life on board after all - he’d decided to go looking. Just in case. It was probably a stupid thing to do, he’d told himself. Yukito was an adult, perfectly capable of taking care of himself and he wouldn’t appreciate Ryouga acting like either his mother or a stalker of some kind, depending on your interpretation. He wasn’t in his quarters and he wasn’t in sick bay either; when it became evident that he wasn’t in Ten Forward or the commissary either, that was when he started to get concerned. Finally he’d flat out asked the computer and found that Yukito was in Holosuite Three. Which was how he found himself hovering outside the room, wondering what he’d find.
What he found… wasn’t what he was expecting and he had the nagging feeling he was overdressed for the occasion. He was standing on a beach, the waves coming up the sand almost to his feet and he took a couple of precautionary steps backwards before looking around to see where Yukito was, finally spotting him a few meters further along the sand, his shoulder length hair blowing gently in the wind.
“Yukito?” he asked carefully, not wanting to startle the man; the relationship they had, such as it was, was still new and there were things about Yukito’s past Ryouga knew he would probably never find out about. He wondered if this was one of them. “Yukito, where are we?”
“The Perikian Peninsula,” Yukito replied and while his voice was calm there was a note to it that Ryouga didn’t like at all, something he couldn’t quite pin down but was distinctly unnerved by. “Do you know how many labyrinths there are here?”
“No,” Ryouga ventured, wondering where Yukito was leading with this and being pretty positive he wasn’t going to like it. “How many are there?”
“No-one knows,” Yukito said softly. “No-one ever managed to map them all. The Cardassians never believed that, though.”
“So… they thought it was a Resistance hideout?”
“It was a Resistance hideout. We knew the labyrinths better than anyone but even that wasn’t enough sometimes. The rock density affected Cardassian scanners and they could never get accurate readings.”
“Which… was a good thing?”
“Usually.” There was a long pause, long enough that Ryouga thought Yukito had finished speaking and started scrambling around for something to say. “Asuka died here,” Yukito added, his voice barely audible over the waves and Ryouga froze, cold all over as the realisation sank in just where this conversation was heading. He knew Asuka had been important to Yukito but all he had were suspicions because he didn’t know any of the details “Just over there,” Yukito continued, jerking his chin in the direction of a cluster of rocks to their left. “He stayed behind to slow the Cardassians down while the rest of us got away but he was outnumbered.” Yukito’s shoulders slumped. “I should have stayed with him.”
Wordlessly Ryouga closed the distance between them to wrap his arms tightly around Yukito’s shoulders. The man was tense, too tense for comfort, and Ryouga especially didn’t like the fine tremors he could feel running through Yukito’s body. “It isn’t your fault that he died,” he said eventually, resting his chin on Yukito’s right shoulder and continuing before Yukito could protest. “He made the decision to stay behind, Yukito. He wanted to keep you safe.”
“But--”
“Did you ask or was it his idea?”
“Well…” Yukito’s shoulders sagged again. “It was his idea.”
“Had you ever been able to talk him out of it when he had that kind of idea?”
“…No.” The admittance was grudging but at least it was there. He didn’t know how long Yukito had been living with this guilt but it couldn’t be eased away just like that; Ryouga knew that from his own guilt, the guilt that whispered he hadn’t done enough to save Ranru, hadn’t been strong enough, fast enough to save her; that he simply wasn’t enough and his sister had died because of that.
He held on tighter, closing his eyes against the wind and prayed he wasn’t about to say something incredibly stupid. “I may not know your friend,” he said quietly. “But from what you’ve said about him, I don’t think he’d begrudge you living. I think he’d be glad to know you survived, that his sacrifice wasn’t a vain one.”
He paused, squared his shoulders and turned Yukito around to face him full on. “And I’m grateful to him,” he finished, taking Yukito’s hands in his, lacing his fingers through Yukito’s, tempted to kiss away the tightness of Yukito’s expression; a temptation he resisted. “Because without him I might never have met you and I can’t imagine never meeting you, Yukito. Me and Mai… we’d both be much worse off without you.”
Yukito stared back at him and Ryouga had no idea what was going on behind those dark eyes because every time Yukito started to say something he ended up closing his mouth before any words actually escaped. Then, much to Ryouga’s surprise, Yukito’s mouth curled up in a faint smile. “You say some really unnecessary things sometimes,” Yukito told him, before turning away slightly to stare out over the water. As this meant Yukito was now leaning into him - of his own accord! - Ryouga didn’t protest and slipped his arm around Yukito’s waist again.
Maybe it wouldn’t last for long but he’d make the most of this peaceful moment while they had it.