Redneck Letter.
Dear Stella:
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't
live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that
most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I
won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived
here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to
change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it
works to well though; last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and
haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained out twice last week; the first
time for three days and the second for four days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said would be too
heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put
them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it
took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is
yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle.
Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out,
but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for
three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was
driving, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
friends were in back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate
down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love Mom
P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already
sealed
With Love... from www.cyberslayer.co.uk
I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't
live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that
most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home, so we moved. I
won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived
here took the house numbers when they moved so that they wouldn't have to
change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it
works to well though; last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and
haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't bad here. It only rained out twice last week; the first
time for three days and the second for four days.
The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said would be too
heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put
them in the pockets.
John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it
took him two hours to get me and your father out.
Your sister had a baby this morning; but I haven't found out what it is
yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or an uncle.
Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out,
but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for
three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was
driving, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two
friends were in back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate
down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
Love Mom
P.S. I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already
sealed
With Love... from www.cyberslayer.co.uk