(no subject)
Well, number one, I feel like a dipshit with my blubbering about that nosnence. But, it's the typical mannerisms I end up going in. Go figure, right?
So, yeah, let's put it this way...um...I'M FUCKING MISERABLE UP HERE! I have no friends up here, I've been unable to secure a job thus far, and options are running out, and my dad is being a douchebag. I accepted facts because I thought "Hey, I'll move to Nevada, things'll be a-okay up there." Yeah, fuckin' wrong. I seriously do not know what the fuck there is to do, I dont know anyone, and my dad isnt exactly helping me here. I do something wrong, no matter how minor, he barks at me like I'm some kind of dumbass. He never admits he's wrong, and furthermore, he's the same as before. He gives me this crybaby story of how he was so lonely up here without me an all this. Nice way to fucking show it, fuck ass.
Only time the dumb sonofabitch listens to what I have to say is when he's drunk off his ass, and even then, that makes me uncomfortable. I've pent up everything wrong since moving up here, because he wont hear it. He seems to have this mentality that if he doesnt hear it, then its not there. Another thing that pisses me off is he's talking about getting back together with his 2nd EX...and he makes it all a big secret, running up to Reno for a weekend, leaving me here by myself, which was fucking great. (Read: NOT). And you know what I think. Let me quote Tommy Lee Jones from The Fugitive: I DONT CARE! I'm leaving soon to join the Air Force, so why in the fuck do I care about it anymore. I believe my grandma, which is that he needs to stay single, because he sucks at this whole marriage thing. Plus, I figured something was up when my step-mom, Rose, was talking about how she thought he was cheating on her because...*DRUM ROLL!* He disappeared with that lady for the night...AHA! A CLUE, SHERLOCK! He tihnks my head is so far in my games that I dont notice anything.
And you know what's even funnier: I CANT STAND UP TO HIM. If I tried, he would either beat the fuck out of me, throw me out of the house, or use the fear he has instilled in me to ruin my life. There's a website where this one guy was ranting about how kids should fear their parents. WRONG, A-HOLE! Let me put it this way, try living in constant fear of having something of yours damaged, destroyed or taken from you. I laugh at how all of you can back-talk your parents, and the worst that happens is that they raise their voice or tell you to go to your room. HA! If you visited my house, you may recall there was a hole in the wall, roughly, oh say...three feet wide...yeah, that was because my dad got pissed off at me and shoved me through that wall.
On our trip back from California, it started to rain, and we had the computer in a box in the back of the truck. He pulls over to a gas station, and tells me to take the stuff out of the box and put it in the back seat. No big deal, right? Well, I'm moving the box to the tailgate, so I can just get a hold of the bottom and haul it over to the door I opened. He then sticks his head out and yells "YOU HOLD THAT BOX FROM THE BOTTOM OR I'LL KNOCK YOU ON THE HEAD!" and I was like "I WAS!" and muttered for him to stop second-guessing me. You know, I feared that if I had said that out loud, I was probably going to be standing at that gas station trying to find some way of getting home. He tells me to stop second-guessing him, but appearantly, he's free to do so, treating me like an idiot when he can. And he constantly makes me feel like the Air Force is cheating me and talking about "Oh, they're gonna fuck you over so fast because you wont ask questions."
So, in short, I'm miserable up here, but I live in a house where I am not respected and treated like a moron. This is worse than TLA. At least there, I had SOMEONE to talk to. I'm sick of it, but I'm thinking I cant move out. Eventhough the means are certianly available, and I do have like two grand in my savings account, I'm sure that he'd find some way of getting me in trouble, and all that.
FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!
So, yeah, let's put it this way...um...I'M FUCKING MISERABLE UP HERE! I have no friends up here, I've been unable to secure a job thus far, and options are running out, and my dad is being a douchebag. I accepted facts because I thought "Hey, I'll move to Nevada, things'll be a-okay up there." Yeah, fuckin' wrong. I seriously do not know what the fuck there is to do, I dont know anyone, and my dad isnt exactly helping me here. I do something wrong, no matter how minor, he barks at me like I'm some kind of dumbass. He never admits he's wrong, and furthermore, he's the same as before. He gives me this crybaby story of how he was so lonely up here without me an all this. Nice way to fucking show it, fuck ass.
Only time the dumb sonofabitch listens to what I have to say is when he's drunk off his ass, and even then, that makes me uncomfortable. I've pent up everything wrong since moving up here, because he wont hear it. He seems to have this mentality that if he doesnt hear it, then its not there. Another thing that pisses me off is he's talking about getting back together with his 2nd EX...and he makes it all a big secret, running up to Reno for a weekend, leaving me here by myself, which was fucking great. (Read: NOT). And you know what I think. Let me quote Tommy Lee Jones from The Fugitive: I DONT CARE! I'm leaving soon to join the Air Force, so why in the fuck do I care about it anymore. I believe my grandma, which is that he needs to stay single, because he sucks at this whole marriage thing. Plus, I figured something was up when my step-mom, Rose, was talking about how she thought he was cheating on her because...*DRUM ROLL!* He disappeared with that lady for the night...AHA! A CLUE, SHERLOCK! He tihnks my head is so far in my games that I dont notice anything.
And you know what's even funnier: I CANT STAND UP TO HIM. If I tried, he would either beat the fuck out of me, throw me out of the house, or use the fear he has instilled in me to ruin my life. There's a website where this one guy was ranting about how kids should fear their parents. WRONG, A-HOLE! Let me put it this way, try living in constant fear of having something of yours damaged, destroyed or taken from you. I laugh at how all of you can back-talk your parents, and the worst that happens is that they raise their voice or tell you to go to your room. HA! If you visited my house, you may recall there was a hole in the wall, roughly, oh say...three feet wide...yeah, that was because my dad got pissed off at me and shoved me through that wall.
On our trip back from California, it started to rain, and we had the computer in a box in the back of the truck. He pulls over to a gas station, and tells me to take the stuff out of the box and put it in the back seat. No big deal, right? Well, I'm moving the box to the tailgate, so I can just get a hold of the bottom and haul it over to the door I opened. He then sticks his head out and yells "YOU HOLD THAT BOX FROM THE BOTTOM OR I'LL KNOCK YOU ON THE HEAD!" and I was like "I WAS!" and muttered for him to stop second-guessing me. You know, I feared that if I had said that out loud, I was probably going to be standing at that gas station trying to find some way of getting home. He tells me to stop second-guessing him, but appearantly, he's free to do so, treating me like an idiot when he can. And he constantly makes me feel like the Air Force is cheating me and talking about "Oh, they're gonna fuck you over so fast because you wont ask questions."
So, in short, I'm miserable up here, but I live in a house where I am not respected and treated like a moron. This is worse than TLA. At least there, I had SOMEONE to talk to. I'm sick of it, but I'm thinking I cant move out. Eventhough the means are certianly available, and I do have like two grand in my savings account, I'm sure that he'd find some way of getting me in trouble, and all that.
FUCKITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!