New comp.....and old complications
Well, the good thing today is that last night, actually, my dad bought a new computer, so I have the old one. I'm going to be job hunting soon, to get a job so I can have my own fucking internet and all. The agreement was that I would buy my own modem, and then I just pay for half of the internet bill, which is only twenty bucks.
The bad thing about today actually came out of a humorous thing. See, in ROTC, Mark, Amanda and Anna Brown were talking about relationship stuff, and other stuff I wont mention here....whereas I was merely listening as I have nothing to say on the subject. But, then, Anna asked about if I still liked Amber. Well, the answer is, yeah, I do, but I dont see us going out. Ever. It's probably my fault. I mean, I tried too early, and then all this other stuff came up...and....well, there's just better guys there....and it wouldn't last. I graduate in May, we'd have to split up anyways, if it lasted that long, which I doubt I could do anything to do so, and in the end, it would just end badly. I like her, I really do, but nothing is going to come of it. She's a great person, and I cant say in words what I feel exactly, but the point is that I just dont see us going out, because I'm just not going to be the right guy.
The fact that I have to face in high school, not accusing Amber of this or anything, but girls prefer the hot guys who are total pricks over the not so good looking guys who are really nice and who will bend over backwards to do anything. Example: Chris Williams. That guy was a total prick, but, every girl at our school was hanging off of him, and all that, eventhough he was a deuschebag. But, if I tried, as Jessie proved, if I even hint I like a girl, it was EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! OH MY GOD, LOPER LIKES YOU! THAT'S SO GROSS! Eventhough, I would be willing to do anything for the girl I liked, and even her friends, eventhought they treated me like shit. But, again, I'm just the wrong guy to go out with, I guess. Perhaps it would be better to just give up. Maybe, with luck, I just might find the right one, but it sure as hell isnt going to be in high school.
And, to top off why I'm so upset, my dad, who was Mr. Had-His-Hands-On-Every-Girl-In-The-School, gives me hell about not having a girlfriend. He really gave me hell when we visited my uncle Jim last July, and he was pokin' fun at my cousin Brittney, cuz she had a boyfriend and all, and he gave me hell because I didnt even have one girlfriend. And I was so pissed off, but I couldnt do anything about it. He just doesnt get it.
I guess I'm harping to the wrong crowd here. I mean, I've bitched about this before, and you all really get sick of it, but, hey, it's something on my mind, and I say it.
The bad thing about today actually came out of a humorous thing. See, in ROTC, Mark, Amanda and Anna Brown were talking about relationship stuff, and other stuff I wont mention here....whereas I was merely listening as I have nothing to say on the subject. But, then, Anna asked about if I still liked Amber. Well, the answer is, yeah, I do, but I dont see us going out. Ever. It's probably my fault. I mean, I tried too early, and then all this other stuff came up...and....well, there's just better guys there....and it wouldn't last. I graduate in May, we'd have to split up anyways, if it lasted that long, which I doubt I could do anything to do so, and in the end, it would just end badly. I like her, I really do, but nothing is going to come of it. She's a great person, and I cant say in words what I feel exactly, but the point is that I just dont see us going out, because I'm just not going to be the right guy.
The fact that I have to face in high school, not accusing Amber of this or anything, but girls prefer the hot guys who are total pricks over the not so good looking guys who are really nice and who will bend over backwards to do anything. Example: Chris Williams. That guy was a total prick, but, every girl at our school was hanging off of him, and all that, eventhough he was a deuschebag. But, if I tried, as Jessie proved, if I even hint I like a girl, it was EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! OH MY GOD, LOPER LIKES YOU! THAT'S SO GROSS! Eventhough, I would be willing to do anything for the girl I liked, and even her friends, eventhought they treated me like shit. But, again, I'm just the wrong guy to go out with, I guess. Perhaps it would be better to just give up. Maybe, with luck, I just might find the right one, but it sure as hell isnt going to be in high school.
And, to top off why I'm so upset, my dad, who was Mr. Had-His-Hands-On-Every-Girl-In-The-School, gives me hell about not having a girlfriend. He really gave me hell when we visited my uncle Jim last July, and he was pokin' fun at my cousin Brittney, cuz she had a boyfriend and all, and he gave me hell because I didnt even have one girlfriend. And I was so pissed off, but I couldnt do anything about it. He just doesnt get it.
I guess I'm harping to the wrong crowd here. I mean, I've bitched about this before, and you all really get sick of it, but, hey, it's something on my mind, and I say it.