(no subject)
I have to ask this question:
Does she even know? Does she even know the shreds I have been torn in? Does she know why I am so readily driven to tears, when nothing has been confirmed or denied? Does she know how my losses have made me weary, ready to jump to conclusions? Does she know why my conscience is ready to blame myself for that which I know was not my fault? Does she even know how hurt I truely am? Not because of her, but because of the others daggers still in my back.
I dont know, but I think the answer is no. I think she does not know, and I feel should could not know. I struggle to keep a smile on my face when I see her, to look like I harbor no pain, like I do not blame myself for anything, but I wonder if I can keep that mask on for much longer. Funny, how I'm ready to sprun being lied to, but I'll go and put on a huge act that I'm okay. But, I also wonder if I'm more than another person.
It's a pain I wish I could do away with, but I cant.
Does she even know? Does she even know the shreds I have been torn in? Does she know why I am so readily driven to tears, when nothing has been confirmed or denied? Does she know how my losses have made me weary, ready to jump to conclusions? Does she know why my conscience is ready to blame myself for that which I know was not my fault? Does she even know how hurt I truely am? Not because of her, but because of the others daggers still in my back.
I dont know, but I think the answer is no. I think she does not know, and I feel should could not know. I struggle to keep a smile on my face when I see her, to look like I harbor no pain, like I do not blame myself for anything, but I wonder if I can keep that mask on for much longer. Funny, how I'm ready to sprun being lied to, but I'll go and put on a huge act that I'm okay. But, I also wonder if I'm more than another person.
It's a pain I wish I could do away with, but I cant.