(no subject)
To lend the title from a section Kevin Smith's and Ralph Garmend's Hollywood Babylon: here's some shit that should not be. For those who don't listen to this excellent podcast, Shit THat Should Not Be deals with the weird stuff that appears in movies when they're released. Even though they are seen, and checked, by at least dozens of people before they are. A rather well known example of this is the stormtrooper hitting his head while walking through a door in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Normally it wouldn't have been there, but it got missed and there it is. Now here's my musical take on it.
As part of Red Nose Day boyband One Direction released the singe One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks). What gets me about this is not that they're a boyband, though I can get a pretty hefty alergic reaction to those. It's not that they're a teenage boyband, a thing that occasionally gives me violent urges even though I'm a laid back dude. It's not even the fact they managed to turn two enjoyable, decent new wave songs into one bland and annoying poppy non entity, an act that sometimes makes this happy go lucky guy depressed. It's the lyrics that got me going.
Before we go into why I think they're a monumental fuck up and we should punish whoever thought they were a good idea by having them listen to the entire One Direction catalogue for the rest of his or her adult life: I get what the lyrics are supposed to represent in the context of Red Nose Day. I'm gonna get you either refers to roping into taking part in the fund raising or having them take out their wallet to donate; Teenage Kicks might well be about the antics of fundraising or the fun and spectacle on TV, with its love and goodwill to mankind. Or something along those lines. On the first look, or listen as the case may be, that's the kind of vibe it puts out. Specially with the happy, bouncy music it sounds like there's nothing wrong it. But lets consider what's actually being sung.
Lets start with Teenage Kicks. First released in 1978 it deals with somebody, probably a guy, observing the pretty girls walking by and thinking about having sex with them. Nothing spectacularly bad. Might get a bit pervy if you want to have the first line mean the guy doing this is (well) past his teenage years, but even than it's reasonably ok. We've all been there one way or another.
Speaking of which (see what I did there?) let's look at the lyrics to the Blondie song. Now there's no mention of sex whatsoever. So, for a given value of good, that's good. What does emerge from the lyrics is a stalker determined to get their hands on the object of their affection by staking out their house and following them around town. Yikes. THat's not good at all. For a lot of values of good.
Which brings us to the audiance participation part of this post. You get three guesses. The first two don't count. Here's the question: what do you get when you throw those two lyrics in the juicer and let it do it's magic for a minute or so?
[insert thinking muzak here]
Yes indeed: you get a nice cocktail with a roofie. Or should that be cocktale? Either way: you get a song about a stalker following you around because he wants to hold you tight get his teenage kicks. All night long. With you. And contrary to what one might assume that's not being angsty and talking about your feelings. On the contrary. That's rather a nice image, isn't it? Now imagine five boys not quite 20 singing this to their target audiance of young girls who might not even have hit puberty yet. Just gets better and better doesn't it?
So there you have it: One Direction's One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks) is Shit That Should Not Be. And not even because they're a crappy band who make really annoying music. Well not entirely anyway.
As part of Red Nose Day boyband One Direction released the singe One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks). What gets me about this is not that they're a boyband, though I can get a pretty hefty alergic reaction to those. It's not that they're a teenage boyband, a thing that occasionally gives me violent urges even though I'm a laid back dude. It's not even the fact they managed to turn two enjoyable, decent new wave songs into one bland and annoying poppy non entity, an act that sometimes makes this happy go lucky guy depressed. It's the lyrics that got me going.
Before we go into why I think they're a monumental fuck up and we should punish whoever thought they were a good idea by having them listen to the entire One Direction catalogue for the rest of his or her adult life: I get what the lyrics are supposed to represent in the context of Red Nose Day. I'm gonna get you either refers to roping into taking part in the fund raising or having them take out their wallet to donate; Teenage Kicks might well be about the antics of fundraising or the fun and spectacle on TV, with its love and goodwill to mankind. Or something along those lines. On the first look, or listen as the case may be, that's the kind of vibe it puts out. Specially with the happy, bouncy music it sounds like there's nothing wrong it. But lets consider what's actually being sung.
Lets start with Teenage Kicks. First released in 1978 it deals with somebody, probably a guy, observing the pretty girls walking by and thinking about having sex with them. Nothing spectacularly bad. Might get a bit pervy if you want to have the first line mean the guy doing this is (well) past his teenage years, but even than it's reasonably ok. We've all been there one way or another.
Speaking of which (see what I did there?) let's look at the lyrics to the Blondie song. Now there's no mention of sex whatsoever. So, for a given value of good, that's good. What does emerge from the lyrics is a stalker determined to get their hands on the object of their affection by staking out their house and following them around town. Yikes. THat's not good at all. For a lot of values of good.
Which brings us to the audiance participation part of this post. You get three guesses. The first two don't count. Here's the question: what do you get when you throw those two lyrics in the juicer and let it do it's magic for a minute or so?
[insert thinking muzak here]
Yes indeed: you get a nice cocktail with a roofie. Or should that be cocktale? Either way: you get a song about a stalker following you around because he wants to hold you tight get his teenage kicks. All night long. With you. And contrary to what one might assume that's not being angsty and talking about your feelings. On the contrary. That's rather a nice image, isn't it? Now imagine five boys not quite 20 singing this to their target audiance of young girls who might not even have hit puberty yet. Just gets better and better doesn't it?
So there you have it: One Direction's One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks) is Shit That Should Not Be. And not even because they're a crappy band who make really annoying music. Well not entirely anyway.