Just give your head a shake! ;->
"Just give your head a shake!" That's shorthand for a psychological process, one that enables me to look at an old situation with fresh eyes.
My other big shorthand phrase is "drop the lead curtain," and that one refers to the process of compartmentalizing, a modern survival adaptation that I've found to be a useful strategy, and one I'm good at. My beloved old dog died, and what I want to do is curl up in a fetal position sobbing, look through photo albums at all his old pictures, see his leash and burst into tears ... but what I've got to do is comfort the child who also just lost her dog, hold her while she cries, get her ready for school and myself ready for work, because life does go on and there are things need doing. So all the grief and sorrow get put into a box, and the door slides shut, and it's almost like it's not even there, till the time comes when I'm all alone with nothing that immediately needs doing, the kid's asleep and the bedroom door is locked. Then -- when it's safe -- I hug his leash while looking through the photo albums, and sob myself sick. Get up in the morning and do it all over again, repeat till the grief is assuaged and your own life can really start to go on.
When I was younger I'd get a visualization of an actual lead curtain, like at the doc's office before X-Rays, dropping down in front of my eyes, hear a little "Clik!" sound, and then it was all emotional numbness with a veneer of pleasant courtesy pasted over my self. As long as I raise the curtain at some point to deal with the sequalae, and don't let it sit there and fester, it's all good. A valuable trick to get ya through life employed and with other people in your life, I've found. ;->
Giving my head a shake is just looking at any current situation with fresh eyes. I had that abscessed tooth pulled Wed., and go back in tomorrow to have the 2nd bad one yanked. Those same teeth on that side have given me trouble before, and been repaired by my excellent dentist before, only to break again, as (for some reason) the facial spasticity is worse on the right side, just like my arm and leg -- it truly is my "bad side." I'd though previously, even before they got infected, about just having him yank them out -- I mean, the same damn thing happens every few months, if they were completely absent they wouldn't be breaking off, scraping my tongue, jabbing my gums, etc. What stopped me has repeatedly been a weird little burst of vanity -- I don't want missing teeth that are visible when I smile, it makes me feel funny. I was running through some of this with Hel and he made a little face and slight sound, and I'm all "What?" and he sez "I don't want you to get mad." So I'm like "I won't get mad." So then he tells me, "I think a gap might be kind of cute." LOL! Hey, I said I wouldn't get mad, so I did not. ;-> Instead I just gave my head a shake.
...and had to allow that, y'know, as long as I don't sit there thinking about what others might think, it actually would be kinda cute.
And that's all she wrote. The 2nd bad tooth comes out tomorrow. Hey, I know Hel won't be embarrassed to be seen in public with me -- well, not because of that at least, LOL!
My band name is now "Redneck Smile." Remember I'm calling dibs.
Son of a bitch, I'm pretty amazed. After this is all over with, gums healed, Penicillin (ugh) having done its thang and killed the infection, jaw swelling gone -- I'll take a pic and post it, just to test myself. I fully expect my gap-toothed grin to be kinda cute! :D
My other big shorthand phrase is "drop the lead curtain," and that one refers to the process of compartmentalizing, a modern survival adaptation that I've found to be a useful strategy, and one I'm good at. My beloved old dog died, and what I want to do is curl up in a fetal position sobbing, look through photo albums at all his old pictures, see his leash and burst into tears ... but what I've got to do is comfort the child who also just lost her dog, hold her while she cries, get her ready for school and myself ready for work, because life does go on and there are things need doing. So all the grief and sorrow get put into a box, and the door slides shut, and it's almost like it's not even there, till the time comes when I'm all alone with nothing that immediately needs doing, the kid's asleep and the bedroom door is locked. Then -- when it's safe -- I hug his leash while looking through the photo albums, and sob myself sick. Get up in the morning and do it all over again, repeat till the grief is assuaged and your own life can really start to go on.
When I was younger I'd get a visualization of an actual lead curtain, like at the doc's office before X-Rays, dropping down in front of my eyes, hear a little "Clik!" sound, and then it was all emotional numbness with a veneer of pleasant courtesy pasted over my self. As long as I raise the curtain at some point to deal with the sequalae, and don't let it sit there and fester, it's all good. A valuable trick to get ya through life employed and with other people in your life, I've found. ;->
Giving my head a shake is just looking at any current situation with fresh eyes. I had that abscessed tooth pulled Wed., and go back in tomorrow to have the 2nd bad one yanked. Those same teeth on that side have given me trouble before, and been repaired by my excellent dentist before, only to break again, as (for some reason) the facial spasticity is worse on the right side, just like my arm and leg -- it truly is my "bad side." I'd though previously, even before they got infected, about just having him yank them out -- I mean, the same damn thing happens every few months, if they were completely absent they wouldn't be breaking off, scraping my tongue, jabbing my gums, etc. What stopped me has repeatedly been a weird little burst of vanity -- I don't want missing teeth that are visible when I smile, it makes me feel funny. I was running through some of this with Hel and he made a little face and slight sound, and I'm all "What?" and he sez "I don't want you to get mad." So I'm like "I won't get mad." So then he tells me, "I think a gap might be kind of cute." LOL! Hey, I said I wouldn't get mad, so I did not. ;-> Instead I just gave my head a shake.
...and had to allow that, y'know, as long as I don't sit there thinking about what others might think, it actually would be kinda cute.
And that's all she wrote. The 2nd bad tooth comes out tomorrow. Hey, I know Hel won't be embarrassed to be seen in public with me -- well, not because of that at least, LOL!
My band name is now "Redneck Smile." Remember I'm calling dibs.
Son of a bitch, I'm pretty amazed. After this is all over with, gums healed, Penicillin (ugh) having done its thang and killed the infection, jaw swelling gone -- I'll take a pic and post it, just to test myself. I fully expect my gap-toothed grin to be kinda cute! :D