Helping myself...
It's come to my attention that I am a lazy, lazy person as of late. I don't have any projects that I'm working on. When I haven't seen or spoken to someone in weeks or months and they ask me how I'm doing or what's new, I have no reply but to say "nuthin'" or "not much." I'd say that's a pretty good indicator of stagnation. It's not just life in general, but specific areas, like work. What do you do at work all day, Megan? Well, nothing, really. I have a few projects i'm working on, but none of it requires much creativity or original thought on my part. Most of it is just retyping or reformatting someone else's project. Any creativity I have is being utilized right now in formatting a PowerPoint presentation that I didn't even write. I don't hate my job--there's little here to hate. I have an office. I work with kind individuals. But for some reason it just doesn't quite fit. The Assistant director jokes around with the other Admin. Assoc. The other Admin. Assoc. does a fantastic job, and there's little room left for me to take up as far as office responsibilities go. I mean, I wear flip-flops to work. I know that how I present myself directly affects how they see me.
I'm rambling.
I realized this morning that my co-workers probably don't think that I do that spectacular of a job. I don't think that they dislike me. But I do think that they don't think anything special about what I do here in the office. I'm not an overachiever in their eyes, but am probably instead quite mediocre. *ouch* And that's finally what piques. I have't impressed them. And I think I can. So I have to change. It may not be the most glamorous place to work, but I do actually think that we fill a much-needed spot on campus and for UGA. Not that my goals are particularly high-minded; what set me off this morning was hearing the Assistant Director tell the other Admin. Associate that the office should send her to Washington, D.C. for a conference in August relating to one of our big grants/projects. 1) They send Admin. Associates to be representatives of the office at conferences?? I didn't realize that; 2) I was all of the sudden very hurt and jealous even though I haven't done anything to garner any special attention [J. stays late, works constantly, and is good at her job--she deserves to represent our office at the conference--I loaf around on my ass all day reading/writing blogs; it'd be ridiculous of me to assume that they don't know that]. I don't like not doing a good job--I really don't.
It is amusing though that I'm complaining about how much time I spend goofing-off on the internet...by complaining on my livejournal...on the internet.
p.s. if you use spellcheck in Live-Journal, it doens't recognize the word "blogs." um...
I'm rambling.
I realized this morning that my co-workers probably don't think that I do that spectacular of a job. I don't think that they dislike me. But I do think that they don't think anything special about what I do here in the office. I'm not an overachiever in their eyes, but am probably instead quite mediocre. *ouch* And that's finally what piques. I have't impressed them. And I think I can. So I have to change. It may not be the most glamorous place to work, but I do actually think that we fill a much-needed spot on campus and for UGA. Not that my goals are particularly high-minded; what set me off this morning was hearing the Assistant Director tell the other Admin. Associate that the office should send her to Washington, D.C. for a conference in August relating to one of our big grants/projects. 1) They send Admin. Associates to be representatives of the office at conferences?? I didn't realize that; 2) I was all of the sudden very hurt and jealous even though I haven't done anything to garner any special attention [J. stays late, works constantly, and is good at her job--she deserves to represent our office at the conference--I loaf around on my ass all day reading/writing blogs; it'd be ridiculous of me to assume that they don't know that]. I don't like not doing a good job--I really don't.
It is amusing though that I'm complaining about how much time I spend goofing-off on the internet...by complaining on my livejournal...on the internet.
p.s. if you use spellcheck in Live-Journal, it doens't recognize the word "blogs." um...