(no subject)

[usersname]

I've let him down. He was the best dad I could have ever wanted and I took him for granted all those years. I never tell him how I feel. I act indifferent. Thats what he does. I want to be like him in every way. I want people to like me like they like him. I want people to respect me like they respect him. I want to be wise like him, funny like him, charming like him. I'm so lucky to have a dad like him and I take him for granted every second of every day. I just couldn't take it anymore. I called him and thanked him for taking me shopping for comic books as a kid. I told him how much it meant to me I told him that I missed him and loved him. I told him how I felt. He understood and reciprocated back with as few words as possible.

But they are the warmest words he could have said.

I love my dad so fucking much and I'm going to let him down.

There isn't anything I can do about it. I'm never going to be as great a man as he has been.

Every second of every day I should be trying to make him proud of me, to earn his respect.

I can't though because he gives it to me regardless.

I haven't cried this hard in a long time.
It feels good.