things
i was born in the wrong era. i am not a modern career woman. i was meant to be born in the leisure class of georgian england in the early 1800s. those girls didn't have to work, and they certainly weren't expected to attend university. to be considered successful, a young lady had to know how to read, embroider, carry a conversation, and look pretty so rich men would want to marry them. i can do all of these things. i can easily sit around the house, move from room to room according to the time of day, embroider tulips on cushions, walk to town to look at hats, and frolic in the gardens wearing gauzy, flimsy, ethereal empire-waisted gowns. forget career satisfaction. their ONLY goal was to get married. and i think i could deal with that kind of pressure.
i think what i lack is direction. or motivation? i don't know. but i do know that i'm way too content to just laze around the house in jammies and a blanket, drinking tea and reading books that aren't required for school. sometimes i feel really driven, like i know exactly what it is i want to do. i know i want to graduate from a respected university. i know i want to study anthropology. i know i want to be a teacher. but then i relax, or see pictures of hawaii, and wonder what the big deal is. i'm so ambivalent about my education. and that's bad. someday i'll get it together, though. hopefully soon.
so right now i'm just living in anticipation of summer.
also, i cut off about 7 inches of my hair.
and also, our washing machine is broken and i am out of clean underwear.
and also, i have full conversations with my cat. she responds. in my head. in addition to this i write vain and condescending comments on other people's facebook walls, under her name.
and also, i watched all 19 episodes of my so-called life essentially straight through last sunday, breaking only for food and naps and potty breaks.
basically, i'm living like it's summer vacation. there's just a lot more guilt.
i think what i lack is direction. or motivation? i don't know. but i do know that i'm way too content to just laze around the house in jammies and a blanket, drinking tea and reading books that aren't required for school. sometimes i feel really driven, like i know exactly what it is i want to do. i know i want to graduate from a respected university. i know i want to study anthropology. i know i want to be a teacher. but then i relax, or see pictures of hawaii, and wonder what the big deal is. i'm so ambivalent about my education. and that's bad. someday i'll get it together, though. hopefully soon.
so right now i'm just living in anticipation of summer.
also, i cut off about 7 inches of my hair.
and also, our washing machine is broken and i am out of clean underwear.
and also, i have full conversations with my cat. she responds. in my head. in addition to this i write vain and condescending comments on other people's facebook walls, under her name.
and also, i watched all 19 episodes of my so-called life essentially straight through last sunday, breaking only for food and naps and potty breaks.
basically, i'm living like it's summer vacation. there's just a lot more guilt.