Feelings
.........
My sister left to go on holiday, she doesnt know where yet, she just went to london to meet her friends, so they can decide. My parents are due back on Wednesday. The house is empty, except for me, and my feelings. And perhaps you A, I dont know. Its late here, and I feel lonely, with the house being empty. I... I dont know. I just want someone to love me, like I could love them. Its so empty, so lonely. I... when we were together A, it was the safest, warmed, most happiest time I have known. Being with you, it was like everything was ok. I still think of you. I have a cup of tea here now, and a pack of paracetamols, and I am listening to the first cd you gave me. Do you remember? When you stayed here, instead of the hotel, you gave it to me, as a gift, for letting you stay. I dont know why I do this A. I, I think, know? it would be best if I just let it all go, threw out your letters, your cd's, everything, and moved on, but, it is so hard. I dont want to. I am stuck, arent I A? (Goddess on a Highway is playing now. I wish you had replied to the last letter I sent you) (Holes is playing now). I just want to cry. I dont know where to go. What should I do with my life, it seems so aimless, and I can think of no aims, except to find someone, someone like you A, but, I, I wish I could still be with you A. I wish that so much. I wish Ithings perfect for you. When I think of you, my mouth still goes dry A, my chest still expands, I can feel my heart growing, and the blood moving along my veins. Its like theres a battery inside me, and when I think of you, it gets switched on, making me alive. God I miss you A, I feel like my life is over, because you are not with me. I am so tired. I want things to change. I hope you are ok A, better than ok. It has been so long since I heard from you. Its like a different lifetime, so long ago. It is so quite, and cold. Where are you A, are things ok for you? I worry about you. I miss you. I wonder what you day is like, who you talk to, who you see, if you are with anyone. Is it nice there, with your boat, and your cats. It feels so homely and comfy where you are, though I have never been there. We move in a month or so I think. Move away from this room, where you have been, from the bed you slept in, from the chair you sat in, from the window you looked out of.
Do you remember our smiley Anna? I feel like a smilelessly now. I wish I could talk to you, but I am scared. I feel so stupid.
I should go now, I cant say what I want, I dont even know what I want to say. Sorry. Goodnight (I will try to say goodbye soon)
My sister left to go on holiday, she doesnt know where yet, she just went to london to meet her friends, so they can decide. My parents are due back on Wednesday. The house is empty, except for me, and my feelings. And perhaps you A, I dont know. Its late here, and I feel lonely, with the house being empty. I... I dont know. I just want someone to love me, like I could love them. Its so empty, so lonely. I... when we were together A, it was the safest, warmed, most happiest time I have known. Being with you, it was like everything was ok. I still think of you. I have a cup of tea here now, and a pack of paracetamols, and I am listening to the first cd you gave me. Do you remember? When you stayed here, instead of the hotel, you gave it to me, as a gift, for letting you stay. I dont know why I do this A. I, I think, know? it would be best if I just let it all go, threw out your letters, your cd's, everything, and moved on, but, it is so hard. I dont want to. I am stuck, arent I A? (Goddess on a Highway is playing now. I wish you had replied to the last letter I sent you) (Holes is playing now). I just want to cry. I dont know where to go. What should I do with my life, it seems so aimless, and I can think of no aims, except to find someone, someone like you A, but, I, I wish I could still be with you A. I wish that so much. I wish Ithings perfect for you. When I think of you, my mouth still goes dry A, my chest still expands, I can feel my heart growing, and the blood moving along my veins. Its like theres a battery inside me, and when I think of you, it gets switched on, making me alive. God I miss you A, I feel like my life is over, because you are not with me. I am so tired. I want things to change. I hope you are ok A, better than ok. It has been so long since I heard from you. Its like a different lifetime, so long ago. It is so quite, and cold. Where are you A, are things ok for you? I worry about you. I miss you. I wonder what you day is like, who you talk to, who you see, if you are with anyone. Is it nice there, with your boat, and your cats. It feels so homely and comfy where you are, though I have never been there. We move in a month or so I think. Move away from this room, where you have been, from the bed you slept in, from the chair you sat in, from the window you looked out of.
Do you remember our smiley Anna? I feel like a smilelessly now. I wish I could talk to you, but I am scared. I feel so stupid.
I should go now, I cant say what I want, I dont even know what I want to say. Sorry. Goodnight (I will try to say goodbye soon)