Skin
I didn't technically binge the other day, but I didn't watch fat or calorie content in my meals. I was forced into an olive garden outing, and even the salad there is full of fats and calories.. I couldn't win.. I stayed at the same weight for two days straight, which was disappointing. As it stands now I am to exhausted from school and my meds to do anything, hence no workout today. I even took a two hour nap. But I did great on food today, so we'll see if that helps come scale time tomorrow.
Still jobless. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist to talk about my meds, my constant panic attacks, and my lack of desire to do anything, as well as the fact that I've reverted back to self injury. I'm going to see if he thinks I should apply for social security dissability on mental illness or if he has any resources for me at all. I want to work, but I don't know if I can handle it right now.
The only time I see my ex abuser/rapist is thursdays, which was today. He was standing in the doorway of the school when I came in, and while I was waiting in the hallway in front of the classroom for the teacher to open the room, he was standing at the end of the hallway watching me. Then as I was talking to a couple of classmates about the ginormous paper we had to do, he walked by two times. He knows he has control over me by doing these things. I'm not sure what to do..Obviously, I am not going to police, as he threatened to kill me and my family years ago if I did so. I thought that I had become so much stronger and that I was no longer a victim, but that was shit. I am weak, because I choose to be.
The worst part about all of this, is that I have no friends to help me out. I texted the girl who is supposed to be my BEST FREIND and she has responded once, with a text, no calls or emails, nothing. The same goes for many others.
I need a drivers license and a car. If I had these things I'd be gone. I know I always pick up and leave when things get bad, but home is where you make it.
Still jobless. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist to talk about my meds, my constant panic attacks, and my lack of desire to do anything, as well as the fact that I've reverted back to self injury. I'm going to see if he thinks I should apply for social security dissability on mental illness or if he has any resources for me at all. I want to work, but I don't know if I can handle it right now.
The only time I see my ex abuser/rapist is thursdays, which was today. He was standing in the doorway of the school when I came in, and while I was waiting in the hallway in front of the classroom for the teacher to open the room, he was standing at the end of the hallway watching me. Then as I was talking to a couple of classmates about the ginormous paper we had to do, he walked by two times. He knows he has control over me by doing these things. I'm not sure what to do..Obviously, I am not going to police, as he threatened to kill me and my family years ago if I did so. I thought that I had become so much stronger and that I was no longer a victim, but that was shit. I am weak, because I choose to be.
The worst part about all of this, is that I have no friends to help me out. I texted the girl who is supposed to be my BEST FREIND and she has responded once, with a text, no calls or emails, nothing. The same goes for many others.
I need a drivers license and a car. If I had these things I'd be gone. I know I always pick up and leave when things get bad, but home is where you make it.