Autism Schmaltism
This autism panic thing is starting to really get on my fucking nerves. Every goddamn day there's another hand-wringing report that more and more kids are being diagnosed with autism followed by another uneducated heart-wrenching celebrity stating they don't use carpet cleaner, don't get shots for their kids, don't let them eat splenda whatever because they KNOW it caused autism in their child and EVERYONE should follow their lead.
Yeah, everyone get in line behind the star of such illuminating works of film like Baseketball and Dirty Love Jenny McCarthy and turn down shots for your kids when the research is IN FUCKING CON CLUSIVE. By the way, immunization is down and incidence of measles in children is up. Where's that fucking report?
I think what got me today was looking up the symptoms of autism.
Three- to five-year-old autistic children are less likely to exhibit social understanding, approach others spontaneously, imitate and respond to emotions, communicate nonverbally, and take turns with others.
Stereotypy is repetitive movement, such as hand flapping, making sounds, head rolling, or body rocking.
Compulsive behavior is intended and appears to follow rules, such as arranging objects in stacks or lines.
Sameness is resistance to change; for example, insisting that the furniture not be moved or refusing to be interrupted.
Ritualistic behavior involves an unvarying pattern of daily activities, such as an unchanging menu or a dressing ritual. This is closely associated with sameness and an independent validation has suggested combining the two factors.[32]
Restricted behavior is limited in focus, interest, or activity, such as preoccupation with a single television program, toy, or game.
Self-injury includes movements that injure or can injure the person, such as eye poking,skin picking, hand biting, and head banging.[3] A 2007 study reported that self-injury at some point affected about 30% of children with ASD.
These are only a few symptoms, classifications, whatever you want to call it of autism and really it's the severity of these whatevers that dictate whether or not a child should be diagnosed autistic.
Nonetheless, by that criteria, I'm pretty fucking autistic. When I was a kid, I sat in stores and made pencils talk to each other, I pushed my best friend into a chain-link fence for no reason, I stared off into space all the time, I cried when my dad sold his blue pick-up truck, I ran full-speed into a barn door and knocked myself out just because, I lined toys up on the side of my bath tub, I rarely made friends I was so lost in my own little world, I had no idea how to relate to other kids. You know what my parents called me? Creative. Quiet. That shit I did as a kid most of it I still do today. You know what people call me now? Former theatre major.
The thing is, yes when that list becomes severe you probably have a developmental disorder. Kids who line things up and throw a fit if you move a couch? That's just a weird kid. We have this wonderful thing called tv that takes a species that learns by visuals and pumps into their brain images of kids that are deemed normal because they do things like finger-paint flowers and have tea parties with their friends and want to try make-up when they're five. SO when a parent has a kid that doesn't want a huge barbie themed birthday party (my sister) or watches The Corpse Bride obsessively (my sister) the parents think "there's something wrong with my kid" (not my parents) and take them to a specialist who showers them pamphlets about developmental disorders. The parents are now SURE something is wrong (just ask Mrs. Carrey) and treat their child as such and the child, not knowing how to even spell autism, picks up that they're doing something wrong and acts even weirder.
And the cycle of "fixing" the youth starts all over again. See ADD.
I don't have a neat little bow to tie all this up with so I'll end with this. If the kid is happy and healthy, what the hell is anyone worried about?
Yeah, everyone get in line behind the star of such illuminating works of film like Baseketball and Dirty Love Jenny McCarthy and turn down shots for your kids when the research is IN FUCKING CON CLUSIVE. By the way, immunization is down and incidence of measles in children is up. Where's that fucking report?
I think what got me today was looking up the symptoms of autism.
Three- to five-year-old autistic children are less likely to exhibit social understanding, approach others spontaneously, imitate and respond to emotions, communicate nonverbally, and take turns with others.
Stereotypy is repetitive movement, such as hand flapping, making sounds, head rolling, or body rocking.
Compulsive behavior is intended and appears to follow rules, such as arranging objects in stacks or lines.
Sameness is resistance to change; for example, insisting that the furniture not be moved or refusing to be interrupted.
Ritualistic behavior involves an unvarying pattern of daily activities, such as an unchanging menu or a dressing ritual. This is closely associated with sameness and an independent validation has suggested combining the two factors.[32]
Restricted behavior is limited in focus, interest, or activity, such as preoccupation with a single television program, toy, or game.
Self-injury includes movements that injure or can injure the person, such as eye poking,skin picking, hand biting, and head banging.[3] A 2007 study reported that self-injury at some point affected about 30% of children with ASD.
These are only a few symptoms, classifications, whatever you want to call it of autism and really it's the severity of these whatevers that dictate whether or not a child should be diagnosed autistic.
Nonetheless, by that criteria, I'm pretty fucking autistic. When I was a kid, I sat in stores and made pencils talk to each other, I pushed my best friend into a chain-link fence for no reason, I stared off into space all the time, I cried when my dad sold his blue pick-up truck, I ran full-speed into a barn door and knocked myself out just because, I lined toys up on the side of my bath tub, I rarely made friends I was so lost in my own little world, I had no idea how to relate to other kids. You know what my parents called me? Creative. Quiet. That shit I did as a kid most of it I still do today. You know what people call me now? Former theatre major.
The thing is, yes when that list becomes severe you probably have a developmental disorder. Kids who line things up and throw a fit if you move a couch? That's just a weird kid. We have this wonderful thing called tv that takes a species that learns by visuals and pumps into their brain images of kids that are deemed normal because they do things like finger-paint flowers and have tea parties with their friends and want to try make-up when they're five. SO when a parent has a kid that doesn't want a huge barbie themed birthday party (my sister) or watches The Corpse Bride obsessively (my sister) the parents think "there's something wrong with my kid" (not my parents) and take them to a specialist who showers them pamphlets about developmental disorders. The parents are now SURE something is wrong (just ask Mrs. Carrey) and treat their child as such and the child, not knowing how to even spell autism, picks up that they're doing something wrong and acts even weirder.
And the cycle of "fixing" the youth starts all over again. See ADD.
I don't have a neat little bow to tie all this up with so I'll end with this. If the kid is happy and healthy, what the hell is anyone worried about?